This blog contains, but isn't limited to, graphic sexual horror, BDSM, sex, robots, science, food, rock climbing, bouldering, politics and general bric-a-brac. Not suitable for children under 18. Honestly, probably not suitable for most humans.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

30 Days of Kink, Take Two, Day 5.

I always start these things and forget about them. I swear, I’ll get around to answering all of these questions someday.

 Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to happen.

(triggers for non-consent) My first kinky sexual experience, eh? Oh man, looks like we’re going to have to dig through a lot of memories. Back when I was just a wee little baby naga bot, I used to date men that were much older than me. In retrospect, it was definitely not a good thing for either of us; I wasn’t emotionally mature and he was…obviously an adult who didn’t have qualms about banging a 16 year old. But that’s not the point of this. I spent most of my time in his bunker (he was in the military) and we would spend most his days off fucking, sleeping and occasionally eating. He was always a rough lover, but that worked out to his benefit - I wasn’t one for gentle sex. At this point in my life, I knew that I was kinky, but had assumed that most people weren’t and I would have to settle with slightly rough-ish vanilla sex. He definitely proved me wrong. I was in his bathroom, naked, brushing my teeth, when he barged in and threw me in the shower. I was so surprised that I didn’t put up a fight when he pushed down his boxers and peed on me. He laughed and went back to bed, while I just sat, urine soaked in his bathtub, tears beginning to form in my eyes. And before you say it, I didn't LET him pee on me, he forced me. I'm a small girl and, at the time, I was probably only about 110 lbs. Even if I had tried to fight back, I was much too small to do anything. I had a multitude of emotions run through me: anger, embarrassment, sadness but what hit me the hardest was excitement. In the end, I wasn't as angry or upset with him for peeing on me, but rather that he did it without consent. Consent became a huge concept for me and I realize that I didn’t want just anyone to use me, I wanted it to be with someone I could trust and that truly cared about me. We both knew that our relationship wouldn’t last because of the age difference, but the lack of consent really pushed it for me and I stopped seeing him promptly afterward. I’m not sure I ever really explained it to him since I was just a kid with poor communication skills. As far as I know, he probably just thinks I freaked out because he peed on me, which is only a half truth.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Kraken's Lair

Last night, Daddy and Sir Ron threw a small, private play party in lieu of the whole DCD fiasco.  Sir Ron, in some kind of manic episode, cranked out several really innovative devices for play and since DCD is no longer a thing, we didn't have to haul everything from one location to another; instead, Daddy and Ron had to figure out how to arrange everything inside Sir Ron's beautiful row home.

The night went wonderfully.  I think I enjoy smaller crowds of more intimate friends much more than crazy big play parties that the local community seems to treasure so much.  The only thing I do regret is not being able to watch girlcrush get her head straight-razored.  

Speaking of girlcrush, I have a date with her on Monday! A legit date.  and I don't have anything to wear ;/

Anyways, back to last night...

Long story short, here's a picture of a bruise above my nipple.  I'm not sure who did it or what was done to get it there, but I like it.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Diets. Lifestyles, Dungeons

Earlier this week, I had written a fairly long, slightly angry, wholly depressing blog about being jealous of a girl I had met last year and how that had manifested into this big crazy thing in which I ended up hating myself, getting depressed and getting "fat".  I put fat in quotes because I know I am far from what the actual idea of overweight looks like...well, to most Americans.  Maybe not by Daddy's standards.  I have gained something like 5 lbs in the last few months.  I know that 5 lbs doesn't seem like much, but when you aren't very big to begin with, it's really noticeable.  Rather than subject you to the whining (plus, I'm not sure if said girl follows my blog, but it could be potentially awkward if she were to read it and understand the love-hate-love-hate I feel for her, someone I barely know) I started to overhaul my diet and exercise routines.  No more grains, no more sugars, no more fun at all.  Basically, my drug-free, (mostly) alcohol-free existence is now also carb-free.

It's going on to Day 3 of lifestyle change and my entire body aches.  I have ran a total of 6 miles so far, adding another 3 today.  I've also done more than 2 hours of yoga and rock climbing.  I'm pretty sure my hair hurts, that's how out of shape I am.

I had forgotten how much I hate salads and a brief talk with Issa and Moco mentioning how much they wanted Taco Bell made me momentarily hate them.  Don't they know fun foods are the enemy?  I've been living off fruits, vegetables and nuts/seeds.  I feel like some kind of rodent.  Especially because I'm on a treadmill for 30 minutes a day, running in place, Dieselboy blaring in my ears while I stare, gaping like a stunned trout, at a silenced TV.

I'll probably update the whole healthy lifestyle thing periodically.  and I probably should include pictures! but it's 7:30 am and not in the mood to get out of bed.  I'll start doing the picture thing sometime this afternoon. 

All I want for Christmas is an inquisition...image from the internet somewhere
This Friday was supposed to be Daddy's Party and DC Dungeon.  Lovingly named "Pipechairs and Pears" for device bondage and the Pear of Anguish, this was to be one of the more intense parties in the area. Hard bondage, hard torture, similar to a set of Insex.  Sir Ron even built a wild amount of furniture and devices for play.  It was going to be amazing.  But no, it's not going to happen.

DCDungeon made the grand announcement that it's moving locations!  It's gotten so big and popular that it needs a new space.  Can't wait, it's going to be great!  But where is this new space?  IT DOESN'T EXIST YET.  In order to operate a (legal) play space, a fuck ton of paperwork and permits are needed (ask Uncle Frazier, the owner of The Crucible.)  So, how can we throw a party in a dungeon that no longer exists? Oh right, we can't. Mega-burn ;/ We (as in Sir Ron) dropped a lot of money into making new furniture and devices and now we have to way to find a new location.  The worst part about all of this is people are going to associate the party cancellation with us and not the play space due to how they made their announcement. Thanksssssssssss. DCD.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Positive Messages in the Bathroom

A few weeks ago, one of the women's bathrooms at my university covered the mirror with little pick me up notes.  I had taken a couple of snapshots of them because I thought they were cute and then promptly forgot about them.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Recap, where are all the updates?

I guess the biggest update is that...I got engaged! It happened fairly recently, about 2 weeks ago, and a part of me is still not quite sure what happened.  The video to said engagement is posted on my fetlife page (which means, dear viewer, that, yes, it was kind of kinky.)  If I weren't so lazy, I'd upload it here as well, but...I'm mighty lazy.  and also, I really hate the way my voice sounds recorded.

Other than that, the major news is that I was flogged for the first time.  I know that probably seems like a silly sentence; how could someone who seems to be so deep into the BDSM community not have tried flogging before?

Ok, slight edit: It's not that I haven't been flogged before.  In my early baby days of crawling through the plethora of BDSM goodies, I had been flogged a couple of times rather poorly by an unskilled Domly-Doms.  My lack of know-how in negotiating--and trust me when I say almost no one knows how to negotiate when they first start playing publicly-- and research had landed me into thinking that flogging was really...not that interesting.  Wasn't quite stingy.  Wasn't quite thuddy.  Why couldn't it make up its mind?  and the actions done by said Domly-Doms were anything but sexy.  I quietly crammed the notion of being flogged into a small tiny ball and shoved it into the darkest parts of my brain, quickly forgetting about it while I fell in love with being single-tailed and caned.  and those notions pretty much stayed dormant until Fetfest.

That's when we watched Prophet pull out his beautiful handcrafted floggers and show off.

You're probably asking yourself who Prophet is because I haven't ever mentioned him before.  Before I go on, I have to admit, I nicknamed him Chocolate Thunder one day because I couldn't remember his name and felt that it would be the most accurate way to describe him.  He's adopted it and now pretty much everyone in our chosen family has started calling him C. Thundah. to describe him...let's just say he follows the Brad Pitt Fight Club exercise regime and he follows it well.

Before we started, we did the typical negotiations:

"Hard limits?"
"No sexual stuff.  Don't break my bones.  Don't send me to the hospital."
"Sure, no problem.  Anything else?
"Oh, yeah, I don't like pain."

He gave me a funny look when I said that; I guessed he had never flogged someone who didn't see themselves as a bonefide pain slut and perhaps he wasn't sure what to do.  He finally decided to start off slow and work our way up until I tapped out.

It didn't seem to have lasted long, but I went through my typical cycle of reactions when dealing with pain: a lot of laughter, tears, rinse repeat.  I'm not sure if that scared Prophet or his partner, who was sitting with Daddy.  She looked quite concerned and I could hear her ask, "Is she alright?  She's laughing...and crying."  Daddy shrugged and said that I knew what to say if I wanted to stop.

It was surprisingly painful.  As I stood there taking the beating, it occurred to me that I not only had never been flogged by anyone remotely close to skilled, but that Prophet was extremely extremely amazing with his craft.  Prophet was able to switch between thuds and stings with little to no effort.  By the end of it, he was winding up and swinging at me the way a baseball player would.  Or at least that's what I'm told.

Later that night, Daddy told me that Prophet was fairly impressed, "For someone who doesn't like pain, she can take quite a flogging."

Monday, September 17, 2012

30 Days of Kink, Take Two

I started 30 days of kink possibly a year ago, but I think I’m going to redo it since 1) My answers have probably changed and evolved from this time last year and 2) I forgot which day I was on.  So here we go.  I've condensed Days 1 and 2 into one blog since I wrote the on my tumblr as two separate ones and I am lazy and a bunch of other adjectives.
DAY 1Dom, sub, switch?  What parts of BDSM interest you?  Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
I don’t identify with any set role in these categories.  I feel like labeling myself any of these things automatically allows people to make basic assumptions about me that just aren’t true.  I am submissive to ONE person, that doesn’t make me submissive.  I top people I enjoy playing with, but do not desire to have a relationship outside of play, so that doesn’t make me a Dom.  I also don’t have the desire or ability to switch between being a Top or bottom with others, so I really don’t consider myself a switch.  So, for now, I am just me.
My interests in BDSM lie heavily on bondage, especially rope bondage.  I enjoy being tied and tying in a Japanese-inspired aesthetic.  I wouldn’t say I’m an amazing rope top or bottom, but I’d like to think of myself as pretty damn good.  It’s something that I’ve worked hard at with my partners.
A lot of my other interests stem from the idea of suffering, whether it’s causing suffering in others or if I’m the one suffering.  I tend to say I don’t like pain, giving or receiving.  What I really mean to say is I enjoy making someone suffer (or I enjoy suffering) and it doesn’t necessarily have to come from impact play.  Mind fucks, predicament and the like do it for me just as single tails and needles.
I also really enjoy the educational aspect of BDSM.  I like teaching safety.  People sometimes forget that all this stuff is really dangerous and, if done incorrectly, can cause a lot of damage, even death.  One of our personal favorite sayings is, “I want to hurt you, not harm you.”  Plus, you get to learn some really awesome things in kink educational classes.  Nothing is more priceless than showing your Narwhal friends an event class list and they go, “Punching in the face? Holy fuck!”

Day Two List your kinks

I would say my kinks mostly revolve around suffering and breakdown.  It’s not the crying or screaming that turns me on- it’s the point past that, the sobbing brokenness, the inability to even fight back or show signs of distress.  It’s that moment when you realize that this is going to happen whether you like it or not, so you might as well let it happen…that’s what I love the most.  All with consent, of course.
In order to achieve that, I do really love bondage.  All kinds of bondage, but I have a particular fondness for rope because of the intimacy that it requires.  It’s easy to slap a pair of cuffs on someone; it’s a bit harder to tie them up.  and it’s a process that can take as long or be as quick as you want it to be.
I am a fan of sensual bondage, the slow, sweet touches, kisses, the closeness, but it usually requires me to be with someone for which I have feelings.
I do have a fondness for needles and needleplay. I like seeing my own blood after the fact. I actually hate seeing needles being put into my skin, go figure.  The endorphin rush, for me, is my form of cheating sobriety.  Plus, I can have some really intimate experiences with needles with Daddy.  Energy pulls are pretty amazeballs.  I find absolutely nothing sexual or sensual about needles or needle play, I just think it’s a lot of damn fun.
I am not a huge huge fan of impact, but I really do love single-tails and bastinado via caning. These are probably the hottest forms of impact to me.  Stingy sensations are preferably to thuddy sensations when I bottom/play.
I absolutely love biting, hair pulling, nipple torture and other forms of intimate pain. I usually don’t let anyone, but Daddy do that to me because…well, I ain’t having sex with anyone else at the moment.
Oh, and I guess, obviously, I am into a Daddy-girl kind of relationships.  I call him Daddy because…well, it’s dirty.  Plus, I enjoy the caring undertones calling him ‘Daddy’ has rather than ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’.  That’s just me, though.  When I top, I do not use honorifics, that’s just my style.
I think that may sum up my current kinks pretty well. Woot.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

If I'm Playing, it Probably Ain't Pretty

I think a lot of people get lost in the glitzy, glossed over versions of BDSM they find on tumblr or blogspot.  You know the pictures I'm talking about; the (usually) black and white photos of two lovers in which not a drop of sweat is spilled, not a hair out of place and all the bondage is amazingly precise and symmetrical.  The bottom in the photo usually is hamming up the pain and/or pleasure while the Top takes an extra Dom-ly stance, hand around the throat or tugging on a strategically placed rope.

In other words, utterly boring.

Don't get me wrong, I can get into the artsy BDSM photos; in fact, I've probably taken a couple in my relatively short lifespan (Remember The Awakening? Yeah, check out that artsy color selection).  So have many of my photographer and/or rigger friends -tt's just something that happens.  Mostly because it seems to be what's most popular- "pretty" pictures of "pretty" girls and "pretty boys" doing "pretty" BDSM.  I put quotes around "pretty" since it's not really what I consider attractive, but what the standard idea of attractive is. (Give me my short-haired girls who eschew typical gender roles, please!)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with those pictures, either.  They have artistic merit and are beautiful and show the world that BDSM can be just has glamorous as anything else in print.  At the same time...there's absolutely everything wrong with these pictures.  It gives the false impression of what play should look like.

To me, playing, much like sex, isn't about organization, lighting and being "pretty".  It's about enjoyment, pleasure, pain and a litany of other words that don't include "photoshopped", "edited", "color-corrected", "posed", or "modeled".

My play, for example, tends to have messy rope.  Not to the point in which it becomes ridiculous and dangerous, but it shows a sense of urgency or intensity, like we couldn't be bothered to straighten up everything and make it perfect, we were too into each other to think about things like that.

Almost always, any play that manages to get photographed (we usually get too caught up to take pictures of play, just the aftermath), tends to be on a shitty cell phone, blurry and something that makes Hamsandwich want to claw his eyes out viewing due to the lack of any photographing ability ever.  These photos are never edited because it takes a certain something away from it.

A lot of play with Daddy involves tears, sweat and an actual suffering that the average narwhal wouldn't feel comfortable looking at.  It ain't pretty and at the same time it's the most beautiful thing ever.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Art and General Bric-a-Brac

(Not going to lie, I just wanted to use the term 'bric-a-brac' because I haven't done so in a while)

The BGSC (Baltimore Guerrilla Suspension Crew for those of you who haven't been paying attention) did a pretty epic photoshoot a few weeks ago.  It's probably been in the works for almost a year when Sir Ron C. sent Daddy a media text of this epic hand rising out of the sand with three simple words following- "Next BGSC hit?"  Daddy then sent me on an whirlwind internet search to discover everything I could about this mysterious Hand.

It turns out that it's part of 'The Awakening', an artistic installation at the National Harbor.  It was originally somewhere else and was moved once The National Harbor was created, although I'm not too sure why.  The entire installation is actually an entire 'man' rising from the ground, a bit reminiscent of a giant titan or god arising from...I guess the ground still. It's very Clash of The Titans-y.  Or Games of Thrones-y.  Because of that feel, we decided to forego the gasmasks and head in a different direction: togas.

We pulled the hit off really early in the morning in hopes of beating the elderly morning speed walkers.  Luckily (and unfortunately) it had rained heavily right before the shoot, so there wasn't many people out, except for the few workers setting up for some event going on there later that afternoon, who were probably too sleepy to even really notice us.  The shoot went off with relatively no issues and we got some pretty awesome photos from the shoot  (these were taken and edited by Hamsandwich)

The top photo has gotten pretty popular and we've gotten a lot of requests for prints.  I'm thinking that we might want to donate one for a fundraiser we're planning in September.  You know how Daddy loves his fundraisers.  

I've been spending my last few weeks of freedom being extraordinarily lazy. I think the lazy lifestyle suits me :) I look healthier with a tan, I eat better and am way less stressed.

Monday, July 23, 2012


"Do you ever think about what life will be like five years from now?"  I asked idly as I stretched out across the bed.  He climbed in as well, pressing his body against mine, I closed my eyes to enjoy the warmth of his skin against mine.  He didn't answer, instead Daddy toyed with my nipples, so gently it was almost like not being touched at all.

"Well? Do you?"  His fingers, so gentle at first, began to massage and pinch a little harder.  I felt myself get a bit excited, but continued my random chatter as his hands continued to drift over my body.  Daddy slid closer to me and I felt him grasp both of my wrists with one hand and pull them above my head.

"I'm going to bite you.  If I stop, you are to ask me to bite you again, do you understand?"  I opened my eyes lazily, not really registering what he said.

"Wha-" I didn't get to finish before he sunk his teeth under my left breast.  I gasped and snapped out of my relaxed stretch, but Daddy had me pinned underneath him, his weight pressing down on top of me.  He released the bite and nipped along my inner arms under his mouth was next to my ear.

"I said," he said as he bit down on my earlobe, "I'm going to bite you and if I stop, you're going to ask me to bite you again.  And you had better not scream.  Wouldn't want to wake up our room-mates, would you?"

With that, he began his onslaught.  His teeth clamped down on me everywhere, my arms, my rib cage, my nipples, stomach, anywhere he wanted.  In between each bites, I would gasp and ask him to bite me again.  Each bite was harder, more painful from the last.  By the time his teeth were set on my hips, I was crying, barely able to get the words out of my mouth.

"I can't understand what you're saying," he said as he continued his rough nibbles and nips.  He had let go of my wrists, knowing I wouldn't try to fight back, pried my thighs opened and bit my inner thigh.  I bit my tongue in order not to scream.  Instead of letting go, he clamped down harder as his fingers dug into my legs.

"Please make love to me!" I blurted out randomly.  I must have surprised him, he released his bite and looked up at me from between my legs.  The look he gave me caused me burst into tears. "Please make love me, Daddy," I begged again as I sat up.  I clumsily pulled myself into his lap and dropped wet kisses all over his face and neck.  He licked my tears and pushed me back down on the bed.  He sat between my legs and looked at my face, then at my sex.

Both were wet.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Recap, Day whatever I haven't posted, Dirty Things, Oh My!

I went through my blog and fixed all the broken images.  At least the images for 30 days of Rope Bondage as well as a couple of random dirty pictures that I particularly liked.  I think the whole switch over to the new interface gave my blog a meltdown.  Hopefully, these pics will stay and I won't have to worry.  I am having issues with creating a background so, for now, I removed it altogether.  I think it actually makes my blog easier to read, so maybe this will be a permanent change.

Day 11 of 30 days of Rope Bondage:

It was super stressful, possibly one of the hardest suspensions I've had to do.  I think it's much more rough than a single column ankle suspension, mostly because my upper body lacks some flexibility (read: completely inflexible.)  I'm fairly proud of myself for being able to handle this :D

Day 12 of 30 Days of Rope Bondage: The photo is up on Daddy's fetlife page.  It was taken with my cell phone and features me, being choked by a neck rope :D

Day 13:  Daddy spent all day in the ridiculously hot sun to make brand new 5 mm jute rope.  We actually purchased a new jute yarn that was INCREDIBLY thin.  New learning curve :)  So the cell phone picture is of all the new rope he had made with Sir Ron C., as well as our new Woody.

What is the Woody you ask?  Last night, at Dirty Things, The Hammer and Lochai actually awarded us The Woody, a large wooden suspension ring that is a hell of a lot more traditional than the metal orb we made :)  We were awarded this for our good behavior, essentially, and the work we do for our community.  I'm not sure how true it is, but according to the leaders of our rope community, Daddy and I are people that have done a lot of great things in fostering the feeling of safety and family.  I hope that's true :) It meant a great deal to us to receive just amazing words from people we admire more than almost anyone on the planet.

Lochai then told us the ring is going to represent the next level of growth for us.  The ring is currently raw and untreated: the next few years with it will show us how we grow and change.  Should be interesting to keep track of how our ring changes in the next few months.

Aw, all warm and fuzzy again just thinking about last night.

Also (and this is going to be so true to form to an adolescent's blog) I kissed girlcrush! Actually, I did lick her nipple first, but for some reason, the kiss was more intimate, even if it was a light peck on her lips.  She was an absolutely pretty dessert table and it took a lot of effort not to be creepy and stare at her.  I guess I could have pretended it was a safety thing since she was in rope, just...can't be...creepy.

Is it creepy that I even wrote that?

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Blogspot hates sexually explicit photos

Apparently, blogspot has taken it upon itself to remove all of my photos with no explanation. My best guess is that it's too sexually explicit.

Boo, blogspot. I knew I liked tumblr better.

edit: Apparently, it's not that blogspot hates explicit photos.  It hates all photos at the moment.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Days 6 through 11

Late on the upload, been so busy, but we've been actually keeping up with our 30 Days of Rope Bondage. In fact, maybe of our shots have gone Kinky and Popular on fetlife. I guess that isn't saying much, but we were excited. Days 6, 8 and 11 are posted here. Day 10 is actually a video tutorial that can be found on fetlife :) Day 7 is lost, but posted on fetlife. Day 7 is actually what went kinky and popular the longest :)

Friday, June 29, 2012

Day 5- 30 Days of Rope Bondage

Like day 4, Day 5 was particularly challenging for me. I really lack a lot of upper body flexibility, but I can totally see a huge improvement from 6 months ago when we would attempt an armbinder and it would fail horribly. Daddy was inspired by The Hammer's class on armbinders and strapado as well as Zamil's class on TK variations. At this point, it just seems like Daddy is obsessed with hishi patterns. Was a beautiful stretch for my shoulders :) Please forgive the messy bathroom, haha.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Day 4

Day 4's challenging tie really makes up for my boredom with Day 3. I have been working on my flexibility all year and was finally able to do a reverse prayer for the first time a few weeks ago. We wanted to re-create that. Here is Daddy's reverse prayer TK variation. Look at my bliss/bratty face!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Day 3 of 30 Days of Rope Bondage

Another head/blindfold/gag tie. I am getting particularly bored with this since we've done a variation of this for the 1st AND 2nd days and tonight, it didn't put me in a particularly good headspace as I am not feeling well to begin with.

Looks like Daddy is already starting to lose creative steam. I hope this changes tomorrow night.

edit: The image is lost somewhere in blogger-world.  Kind of sucks because now that I'm editing this post, I miss it.

30 Days of Rope Bondage - Day 2

We made it to day 2 of 30 Days of Rope Bondage, hurray! It's a new record.

For tonight, Daddy went back to his roots and drew inspiration from insex and used an anal hook. The hook was tied off to my hair and also brought around my face to create a gag and blindfold. Any movement at all caused the anal hook to move and tighten inside me. Painful and exciting. The addition of a rifle tie and double futomomos made the tie extra predicament-y and definitely extra sexy.

I'm a huge fan of anal and I absolutely adored the 20+ photos we took tonight. I was in such a lovely head space for a while afterwards.

Amazing sex, amazing bondage and amazing Daddy. Luckiest girl in the world.

Monday, June 25, 2012

30 Days of Rope Bondage-Day 1

I know Daddy and I tend to start a lot of projects and rarely go through with them (remember the short lived Shibaricon Boot Camp?...yeah, I barely remember it as well), but we decided after much discussion that a 30 Days of Rope Bondage is necessary. We've gotten lazy and in a bondage rut, almost always defaulting to a basic TK or a 3 transition suspension performance (face down, inverted, face up...snoozefest).

The goal of the next 30 days is to push both of us to our edges as Tops and bottoms, to think creatively and to really work on our artistry. Just in time for the guerrilla rigging season, too. Nothing says mediocrity than repeating oneself over and over. We want to prove that we're not just a cut-rate version of NYC rope bomb or the notorious Murphy Blue, who, for the record, is an amazing person, sexy rigger and all around bro. I really dig him and his take on rigging, rope and the art of being a sexy beast.

Anyways, here are the photos from Day 1. Also, another goal by the end of these 30 days is to learn how to edit a damn picture. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Webcams and Whatnot

As I am a poor college student with no real ambitions and job at the moment, I earn money the easiest way I know how: webcamming. It's easier than a vast majority of jobs out there. I can work my own hours and pretty much be my own boss. Sure, I have to pretend to be attracted to whoever is on the other side of the computer and probably never speak to them again after they've spent their money and achieved orgasm, but I'm alright with that. It still beats any possible store discount I could get and I can be myself.

A majority of the money I make actually comes from selling photosets and videos rather than live cam chatting. Most of the photosets involve (surprise!) bondage and BDSM, which is perfect because Daddy really enjoys tying me up and shooting me ("Tie up my girl, take pictures AND get paid for it? This has got to be a crime.") A lot of the photosets can be sold and resold over and over. Something like an hour of photography and an additional 30 minutes of editing on photoshop (and no, I don't actually photoshop myself to look thinner or have clearer skin or cover up that unsightly pubic stubble- rather just resizing images since the camera I have is extremely high quality) can end up making me $100 or more. What's not to love?

Live camming is much more interesting to me, but probably makes me less money overall. A lot of times, the internet men aren't just looking for a quick nut when it comes to live camming, instead, it tends to be more conversation, like talking with a long distance lover (or what I assume it would be like, I've never had a long distance lover). I tend to have 3-10 really loyal clients that I speak to regularly. I know them all by name, their careers, their dreams, goals and aspirations.

Ah, the GFE, the girlfriend experience. Just the closeness, the voice, the gentle intimate conversation is enough for some fellas. Sometimes I forget these are things people crave because, true to robot form, I don't crave them the way most people seem to. In fact, I may put more effort into these e-lationships than I would in a typical face to face relationship. These men not only are investing their time and emotions, they invest quite a bit of money. I have to deliver right?

I always feel a bit guilty, though. These men have come to care for a girl who isn't even real. A lot of what I tell them, my name, my age, where I live, etc - they tend to be all made up. I don't know how much they really care about statistics and facts like that, perhaps deep down inside they all know I'm just a liar when it comes to meaningless facts. Most of these men tend to be more interested in the intimate conversations about my dogs, or how rock climbing went today. Those are never lies.

Strangely enough, when I do these live cam streams with a gentlemen who seems to deeply care for me, I tend to sing to myself or have music playing in my head. and it's always tends to be Dean Martin's "Ain't That a Kick In The Head?" Seems so fitting when I think about it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Saturday, June 16, 2012

B&B- The Dark Circus.

Last night was Beats and Bondage, a play party with the theme...well, beats and bondage: really awesome music, play and usually some type of art performance and a bondage performance. This month's additional theme was "The Dark Circus." Moose, the beating heart of this project, requested that Daddy and I do a performance and, of course since he's one of our photographers for BGSC as well as an awesome friend, we readily agreed to it.

What I didn't agree to was the premise of the performance. In my mind, it would be a typical Japanses-inspired rough-me-up-slap-some-rope-on-me-and-put-me-in-the-air-beautifully kind of thing. Y'know...the same thing we're always hired to do. Instead, I read this:

Watch as M0co tames the savage robo-lion Beemo! A man so brave he needs no whip, but only a few coils of rope and a cane to tame and cage this bestial cyborg. Make sure you give him room to work though folks. I've heard that Beemo has a wicked bite and a veracious appetite.

Wait-what?...a lion? (The robot part is a long story and inside joke with my friends, so that doesn't bother me). This isn't the traditional Japanese with a twist I had imagined. Why? Why a lion? Why me?

"Because, it's a circus, baby," Daddy explained somewhat impatiently, "and you will be a lion or some form of big game cat and you will enjoy it. End of story."

So for weeks, I lamented the costume I had to concoct and the behaviors I would have to adopt. I voiced my complaints almost daily, almost to the point where Daddy would threaten punishment if I didn't stop. I racked my brain to figure out costume ideas that I would enjoy and always came up empty. I've never considered pet play before as something I would be interested in. I know some of my behavior does contradict that: I'm often barking, meowing, crawling around, wrestling or drinking out of a puppy dish. My usually write off those acts as being part of a little: littles pretend to be other things for attention.

Then it hit me: attention! If anything, me dressed up as a lion (or some kind of big game cat) would get me extra attention because it's so out of character. There are three main motivators in my life: spite, sex and attention. (Wow, does that sound as awful as I think it sounds?) If something manages to hit one of those big three, I automatically do it, consequences be damned.

Of course, by the time I gave into the idea of this performance, it was too late to make my own costume, so Daddy took me to some party store and bought me one of those awful girly girl insta-cat kits that came with a eared headband, a furry necklace/choker, furry wrist cuffs and a tail. It was very corny and something you'd expect to see a drunk sorority girl wearing with a leotard and fishnets. So...right up my alley. Daddy told me to wear whatever I want it at the party, but to make it "lion like."

I decided to go naked. Lions don't wear clothes, that would just be ridiculous. The best part was I was able to attach the tail to my NJoy butt plug. (Have I mentioned how much I absolutely adore NJoy products? A must have in all households)

So the second we got into the play space, behind those closed doors, I removed everything and pranced around naked sans cuffs, collar, tail and ears. I can't claim to be the first to be naked, but definitely one of the first few. Daddy smiled as he pet my head and said that although I wasn't exact lion-like, I was a pretty adorable cat of some sort.

The performance went pretty smoothly. It was a bit strange being able to fight back a bit during the scene, mostly biting and hissing (do big game cats hiss...?) but the reaction Daddy gave me after a few bites and scratches were so worth it. He tossed me around easily enough, throwing me on the floor, tying me in his own unique-yet-strangely-Japanese style, pulling my hair, kicking me and having as much fun as possible. I was euphoric for hours afterwards.

I was able to connect with girlcrush, although I feel like since we pushed off our date for so long, she has become disenchanted with me. I'm no longer a shiny new object, but that's alright. She's still an awesome person and a great friend. I invited her and her boyfriend over to dinner during Fusion weekend since no one will be around. Hopefully she and I will get a chance to reconnect and see what happens. :)

At some point that night, Daddy and I asked Moose if we could play with his babygirl, Bunni. Moose gave us permission and we asked if he would like to join in. He grinned through his clown make up and agreed. We worked quickly, tying Bunni to a St. Andrew's cross and commenced the beating. Daddy was able to tie her breasts up fairly tight. She looked absolutely beautiful.

As proof that we don't take ourselves too seriously, Moose let us beat Bunni with some ridiculous things: clown shoes and rubber chickens. I don't remember laughing so hard while playing before, it was so much fun. It was really truly living up to the term "play" we use.

So now, I can officially scratch off pet play and beating someone with a rubber chicken off my Kink list, which is a good thing since I always try not to be judgemental, my kink is not your kink etc etc. I still don't really understand pet play, though.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Week Long No Orgasm Challenge (AKA I must be fucking stupid to have attempted this)

I think that it's quite plain that I absolutely adore having sex. Wait, minor correction: I absolutely adore having sex with Daddy. He's the first man to actually make me cum in bed (I admit, I am guilty of faking MANY an orgasm in the past just to get the person to stop rutting on top of me so I could leave and pleasure myself) and to make me cum so thoroughly that half of the time, I could just curl up into an over-sexed ball and pass out. The other half of the time, I'm demanding more sex and more orgasms, to the point of where I am kind of spoiled and ungrateful.

I was starting to realize my behavior was getting out of control. If I didn't have sex a minimum of 4 times a day (6 is what makes me happiest, if not more) I would be wildly moody. I would go from extremely angry ("Why the fuck would you fuck me and not let me cum?") to ridiculously depressed ("The world is a lonely lonely place without orgasms...le sigh.") to pleading and bargaining ("Daddy, I will give you whatever you want, just please make me cum!")'m addicted to orgasms. My attitude was no different from someone addicted to cocaine or heroin. They have become my narcotic and I was increasingly unstable unless I got my fix. It became some consuming, I had time for little else. So, what does one do to kick a habit that is so deeply ingrained into their lifestyle? By going cold turkey, of course!

Now, I'm not absolutely crazy. I decided that since orgasms aren't BAD for me (just my behavior when I don't get what I deem as enough) one week sans orgasm would be enough to teach me a valuable lesson in...I don't even know...stuff? It would be just like kicking a heroin addiction: a week without, a few cold sweats and nightmares and then I would be clean and sober.

Should be cake. I can do this, I told myself.

Well, unlike heroin, I couldn't escape sex. I couldn't leave it on the corner somewhere in Baltimore, avoid the calls from my dealer, lock myself in my room and sweat it out. Whenever Daddy wants sex, I give it to him. Believe me when I say he wants it quite frequently.

There is no sex rehab in this household.

I lasted 3 days. 3 of the longest days of my life and spanned all the stages of overcoming addiction. By the end of it, I was achy, sweaty and desperate. I would have willingly gave away precious government secrets if Daddy would just say the magic words.

He's truly a sadist, sometimes. He had so much fun bringing me so close to the edge and leaving me there while he got to cum whenever and however he felt like. I think my day 3, though, he was sick of seeing the tears in my eyes and the mopey behavior around the house. He let me go cum without reprimand, but did state that in the future, a majority of my punishments would be long-term orgasm denial.

I miss the caning already.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Kink Bubble

Most people don't live the life I do and I really do forget that things I find to be normal and everyday are a pervert's ultimate fantasy. Every once in a while, I'll be sitting in a lecture hall, listening to a professor talk rattle on and on about some amazing epigenetic discovery, while I stare into a sea of nameless faces and think, "Wow, none of you have any idea, do you?"

It seems like I've safely ensconced myself in a kink bubble. Almost all my friends, my connections, my life is tied to the lifestyle. No, slight correction, this is who I am; it just happens to permeate through all facets of my life. At this point, I'm not even sure I can reliably carry a conversation with a Narwhal. I'm not even sure how I managed to beforehand, and, when I really dwell on that, I realize I probably didn't. I usually don't speak at all or I say something that would deem me as an improper young lady (in the bad sense).

Now, Narwhals are just that: creatures that I watch carefully as they swim in their gigantic glass tanks, utterly fascinated by their everyday existence. Is that Narwhal there trying to mate? What a bizarre ritual! Their communication just sounds like a series of clicks and calls that entertain me, but mean next to nothing. How do I even begin to decipher?

When did I become a Whale Biologist?

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Wykd Dave, Clover, Nyotaimori and other stuff

I was lucky enough to spend a few days/hours hanging out with rope community celebrities Wykd Dave and Clover. They have been in the states recently to teach classes and perform at Shibaricon. I had always thought I knew a decent amount about shibari, kinbaku and the art of tying. Spending three hours watching Japanese rope porno with Dave, Clover and The Hammer has shown me how really new I am. Not a bad thing, but a nice reminder that I'm not as educated as I thought I was.

So far in my journey in rope, I've been so blessed to have a rockin' community, awesome teachers and a loving Daddy that wants to learn and grow with me. In this past year, I've gotten the best tutelage from bondage legends, like Lochai and Dave, and an awesome bottom, Clover. Even in the past two weeks, I've gotten to watch Dave and Clover perform twice, most people can't claim that at all :)

At Dirty Things, we were able to workshop the single column ankle suspension (non-gravity boot version) and decided that it's probably not best to attempt it anymore. I can endure it, but it seems extremely prone to injuries and nerve damage (two rope bottoms I know of had this injury and it was seriously intense)

After watching Dave and Clover perform, Daddy decided to have some sashimi, Nyotaimori style. Of course, being at Dirty Things meant he had to make a few additions of bondage and rope. Here is the outcome. Lovely photos taken by Ham Sandwich.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Ballet Boots

Recently, my friend (and soon to be newest room-mate in apt. 302) purchased ballet boots for me. I never really understood her excitement until she slid them on my feet, laced them up and told me to stand up.

Folks, I could NOT stand. These boots weren't made for the balance challenged at all. Looks like I'm reduced to crawling around; I instantly fell in love with them. I a huge fan of degradation and not being able to walk...can't even stand. I'm required to either wait for assistance, stand and fall or crawl around.

Daddy was no different, he absolutely loved putting them on me as well. Throw on some clamps, a hood and a ballgag for good measure and you're havin' yourself a grand ole time.

Sorry for the craptacular cell phone pics. Maybe someday we'll get a decent camera.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Intimacy with Rope 101 - Online Class

Tired of those boring college classes, well, not to worry, we have you covered!

Presenting: Intimacy with Rope 101 - LIVE Streaming University


Monday, May 14th, 8:30pm-10:00pm EST, can log in at 8:15pm—demonstration will begin at 8:30pm and go till 9:30pm…may run slightly over, latest being 10pm!

Who is the class for?

This class is for anyone who has a desire to expand their play with rope. Any size, any shape, male or female. This class is an introductory and novice level course, but we will build from this class onto further ones.

What will be taught?

We will discuss single & double column ties, chest harnesses and quite possibly a floor hogtie. There will be 2 lovely bottoms, one is of larger variety, so you big gals and guys...step up to the plate!


The privacy of your own home!!! You do not have to drive anywhere, if you have an internet connection you can come to class. The class is interactive via a chat room like environment. You will hear and see us LIVE as we present to you the building blocks of intimate rope connections and be able to communicate with us in real time using the chat room!

How much is this class?

Our introductory class, is FREE ! This is a fun test on alternative ways to provide our community with education. If it's well received, we'll do more!
If you wish to, you can make a donation to the presenters and to the bottoms by clicking here:
[][Donate through Paypal to] *Donations go to the presenters and bottoms.

Who is presenting?

This awesome presentation will be brought to you by DarianILRe, warriorfrog, M0co Butterfly66

So, come one everyone and together we can Be More with Kink!

Also, any person creating this live streaming demonstration isn't responsible for any injury caused by watching. This is for entertainment purposes, and if you happen to gain something from it, then all is good. But seriously, we're not responsible for any misuse of rope to any living thing that causes any sort of injury. There are many ways to produce rope work, and ours isn't "the" way, it's a way that we find comfortable, and we hope to entertain you!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Dirty Things May

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but one of my favorite play parties is Dirty Things. it's a bondage themed party (surprise!) that Daddy and I help co-host. Actually, when I think about it, I don't think we do much work for this party whatsoever. Maybe that's part of the reason I like it so much. But, much more than that, it's a great place to socialize with other rope lovers and see/experience some amazing rope work.

Like the caged suspension Daddy did on me.

Before we started to play, someone, possibly Hammer, asked me about my flexibility, so I showed off my old gymnastics skills and pulled my leg up to my head. Daddy, looking incredibly surprised, said he never knew I was so flexible. (Really, Daddy? After a year of being together? You've twisted me into some difficult positions...and you're sticking to the claim you had no idea I could do that?)

I guess watching me contort next to the tall cage in the middle floor play space gave Daddy some ideas because before I knew it, I was tossed into a TK variation (in which Lochai and Celeste Lucia help create) and I was pushed into the cage and tied off in it. A line was added to my right ankle and I knew that meant that I was going to be put into a partial, but I had no idea where or how it would look.

Daddy brought my right ankle as far up as he could, somewhere near my head. The stretch in my leg was incredible. Daddy twisted and wrapped the rest of the line around my leg and throughout the cage. He then tied off my left ankle and raised it a bit so that I would be fully suspended within the cage.

Here is what the final results look like. I want to thank Amy Morgan for taking these pictures :) For cell phone pics, they came out pretty well.

Also, new achievement unlocked! I was able to keep my NJoy butt plug in the entire time! I've never been able to keep a butt plug in during a full suspension before, go me! So, these pictures also happen to be awesome product placement ad for NJoy products.

The night continued with more stressful bondage, spending some time with my girl crush and catching up with Celeste Lucia. Another fantastic night :D

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Review: Brazilian Waxing

It's crazy to think about how much time is wasted on body hair removal. I would say that out of the 20-25 minutes I spend in the shower, a good half of that is dedicated to shaving something like 60% of my body. On top of that, I don't just have hair - I have a thick layer of fur meant to protect me from the harsh cold long nights in the Arctic. My hair would pretty much grow back within a few hours.

So, of course, when Darian IlRe, demi-god of TNG Baltimore and sweetest brother ever, said that one of the beauticians at his spa was doing a free brazilian waxing demo for her boss, I jumped on the chance.

The prepping for it was seemingly easy: don't shave for a week.

Let me tell you, longest week ever. I never realized how automatic it is for me to pick up the razor and hack away and the hairs on my body, it's become second nature. So, to let it grow out was particularly challenging. I also never realized how thick my hair is. I mean, yes, I knew I had quite a bit, but considering that I have kept myself smooth shaved since 17 years old, I don't think I ever actually knew how much I had. So, by the end of this week, I felt like I was growing a small, raven-haired furby between my legs.

The waxing itself wasn't bad at all; it was no more painful than things we do sexually. In fact, N made the statement, "Oh, so it's like a hair follicle zipper." Why, yes, yes it was! What a perfect analogy. So, if you're curious about what waxing feels like, line yourself with some clothespins and rip them all off at once! I think waxing is actually a lot less painful, so if you can survive that, you can survive a waxing. Some areas were more sensitive than others and the soft wax was more painful than the hard, but overall, it was a breeze.

Since I was a serial shaver, the waxer, Brit, told me that my hair would start growing in strangely because I had so many short hairs. B recommended that I don't shave, come back in a week and get whatever hairs were leftover.

Another week, no shaving. The small hairs grew into strange little patches. Daddy said it looked like a sick ewok (D:). I went back today and she pulled the rest off. I barely even noticed it this time.

The whole process was fairly quick, maybe an hour or so, and there were no special directions afterward besides exfoliate. ("Everytime you shower! Don't forget!").

I think I'll just stop shaving altogether now. I just want to wax it. The results are super sexy. I just hope I can afford it.

Quick Review
Salon: Zina's Day Spa in Canton (Baltimore, MD)
Product/Service: Full brazilian waxing- a mix of hard and soft waxes
Price: Prices start at $75, can be a bit expensive if you're poor (like me!) but the hair does grow in finer and you'll end up going less.
Pain level: 3/10 t 4/10, depending on which type of wax used and where the wax was. Some people with more sensitive skin may bleed.
Maintenance and upkeep: If you're a chronic shaver, you may need to go back in a week to remove smaller hairs that couldn't be yanked the first go around. Exfoliation is a must.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Danglin' Season: BGSC Hit

We just did the first BGSC hit of the season. We tried to keep it pretty small and interesting, especially since we learned quite a bit from last year's inaugural suspensions.

Knotty Nate and Jezebelle came out with us on their first official BGSC hit, although, they were at the merry-go-round hit that we did for The City Paper (PS: That merry-go-round no longer exists...we may have been the last people to touch it :D)

The location was some run down rack of buildings in Ellicott City, Maryland. I'm not sure what it used to be, but it seems like it contained some sort of engine structures within it, an old pumping station perhaps?

We ended up finding some crazy looking wrecks and doing a quick shoot. Here are some of the shots :D

I'm on the left, in case you were wondering :) but you probably weren't.

Everyone came over afterwards, along with a several others who couldn't make the hit, and we did our typical Friday night rope thing. So far, a great start to the weekend.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Tops, it's Okay to say No

Let's start off with a brief example, shall we? (This is a pretty made up example, but various situations similar to this occur all the time)

New bottom: I want to be suspended! Please suspend me?
Me: Okay...what's your experience with rope?
New bottom: Never been tied up before.
Me: Hmmm, well, I don't think I'm going to suspend you then. How about we do some floor work?
New bottom: I really want to be suspended, though, it looks so fun!
Me: ...Sorry, I won't do it.
New bottom: Fine, I'll find someone else that will.

This is an extreme example of Tops getting pressured. Everyone always goes into extreme detail on how bottoms need to negotiate their asses off and to never feel like they need to do what the Top wants, unless it's something they also want to do. Well, Tops, the same is true for you! You also have a right to decide what you are okay and not okay doing. Just because a bottom is adamant on what they want doesn't mean you have to do it.

Let's look at the original example again. I'm sure the bottom is hell bent and truly wants to be suspended, but I just don't feel comfortable doing it. Why? Do I not trust my suspension skills? Do I not trust the bottom? What gives?

I am a competent rigger (at least in my own mind, it's really up to the rest of the community to decide that), but more than that, I have common sense. New bottom (abbreviated NB from this point on) hasn't even crawled yet and wants to fly. This sets my spidey sense off. NB, why not even see if you like being tied up? How do you know you'll enjoy a suspension if you've never touched rope before? If you've never experienced any type of rope, how do you know what's a good pain? A bad hurt? Weird pressure?

The last thing I want to do is put you up and have you realize you don't really like rope or that it would hurt a lot more than you realize. Having you panic and thrash around, demanding to be put down psychologically and physically can hurt you badly. Harm you even. And, at the chance of sounding really selfish, but what about me? It definitely hurts me psychologically to think I could have really done some non-consensual damage to you. Not to mention that it does spread around the community like wildfire that there's a chance that I'm not a RACK or SSC player. Damaging all around.

There's a good chance that if someone gets injured, a lot of the blame is going to hit the Top and not the bottom, even if it was the bottom's idea.

So I say no and if you don't like it, too bad. I would rather play light or not play at all than run the risk of doing something irreversible. I can always do more next time, I can't really undo some damage if I go too far the first time.

Sometimes people don't really know what they are asking for and, as a Top, it's our job to let them know it's just not feasible to do. Yes, the bottom has every right to ask, but you have every right to say no. and it doesn't even have to be for safety reasons to say no. You can just say no because you don't feel like it, you can say no because it's a hard limit, you can say no because you only do specific things with specific people, you can say no because the environment isn't suitable, you can say no because you're not in the right headspace for it, you can say no because there isn't time. Basically, any reason a bottom can give you say no, you can use, as well.

When I think about it, we (Daddy and I) say no more than we say yes. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

But please, say no instead of being wishy-washy. "uhmmms..." and "errrrrs..." don't look any better and it gives the false hope that you may just do what the bottom requests, even if it's something you don't want to do

Stand your ground, just say, "No." :)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I Don't Like Pain...Ok, I Do Like Pain

I tend to hang out with pain sluts, people who really enjoy multiple forms of intense pain, and, because of that, I often tell people that I don't enjoy pain. I don't enjoy paddling, I don't enjoy being punched and I don't really enjoy caning. A lot of those forms of impact are synonymous to punishment for me, so, at the time, it was completely accurate to say I didn't like pain.

Now that I think about it, though, I do enjoy pain. Take last night, for example.

Daddy simply told me to get naked when we got back from a TNG Happy hour. I did as I was told and as I undressed, he pulled a thin hood over my face. For some reason, the second I'm blind folded or hooded, I get into my headspace and become extremely compliant and submissive. It's hard to remember little details, but I do remember Daddy grabbing my hair, pulling my face down to his cock and using my mouth for a moment or two.

He had me sit perfectly still and I could feel his hands play between my legs, tugging and pulling. He attached something to one of my pussy lips: a tile clamp. These are super cheap, super strong clamps one could buy at Home Depot. They're usually used for spacing out and clamping tiles (surprise!), but can be used for other, more devious things. Like torturing little girls like me.

He clamped four to my pussy, two on each lip. He then proceeded to clamp my nipples. The pain was so incredible, I could feel my eyes begin to well up with tears. At the same time, I could feel myself getting so wet, I was dripping onto my bed.

As the icing on this sadistic cake, Daddy managed to attach the nippled clamps to one of the sets of clamps between my legs. No matter how or where I moved, it would pull either set of clamps, usually both. The intensity of the pain would only get worst from this point on, and, of course, at the peak of my torture, Daddy handcuffed me and then forced me to suck his cock.

Normally, I would be crying all over his cock, which makes him all the more hard, but the hood soaked up most of the tears. The fact I was still making the crying noises and was suffering for him was enough though. He was so turned on, I'm not sure how he managed to pull himself out of my mouth.

The best and worst part of clamps is the removal. Daddy swiftly removed each clamp, causing me to shudder and scream a bit. All my senses were completely overwhelmed at this point and all I knew was I wanted him to be inside me. Within seconds, he was on top of me, making me beg to cum.

I'm a lucky girl. and I guess I do like pain.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Shibaricon Training Camp

In an attempt to look like we know what we're doing, Daddy and I have started a Rope Top/bottom training camp. This past weekend, we had a couple of folks over to continue practicing. Celeste, her boyfriend, I.R and Ron C. came over and we did a little rope work.

We reviewed some videos and decided to work on the futomomo and suspending from it. A futomomo is a specific tie in which the ankle is tied off to the thigh, in a similar fashion to a frog tie. We have never actually attempted to suspend from this before, since it is dangerous and requires quite a bit of practice beforehand. After multiple reviews of a video we had found on tying it, we attempted to suspend from it.

Celeste had done a double leg futomomo and was suspended from both. She said it wasn't the most uncomfortable thing in the world, but it was tolerable. I was tied with a single futomomo, which is more stressful since it becomes only a single point in which all my weight is placed. It was uncomfortable, but not intolerable. Same results.

With I.R, we tested to see if there was a difference between putting the hard point line on the inside or the outside of the thigh. We weren't able to judge because we try to do it at the same time (one leg with the line on the outside of the thigh, one with the line inside) and it ended up shifting everything uncomfortably. I think we'll just stick to doing the line on the inside.

We also decided that using a carabiner and using a pulley system is definitely the way to do when trying to pull someone up in a futomomo. Otherwise, the ropes bite too much and it'll be too difficult to raise someone.

Daddy, being the best, most amazing person in the world, let me suspend him from a futomomo as well, just to see how it would feel. He's a firm believer in switching for experience; he doesn't want to put me through something he hasn't tried on himself :) He agreed that it was extremely uncomfortable and this wouldn't be something he would do during a transition unless I really thought I could handle it. At this point in time, it's definitely a resounding no.

I think I really like the futomomo for partial suspensions. Hopefully I get to play with a particular person with this. I think she'll really enjoy it :D I really just want to tie her up, scratch her, clip clothespins to her and cane them off :D A girl can dream, right?

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Rope Top and Bottom Boot Camp- Day 1

Well, this is going to be embarrassing to admit, seeing as we created The Baltimore Guerrilla Suspension Crew...but, for the longest time, Daddy and I didn't have a hard point. How could the founding members of the premiere (we say premiere since we happen to be the only group doing this in the area) guerrilla suspension group not have a hard point? It's insanity! But because of this lack of hard point, we haven't been doing many suspensions (i.e. no suspensions) on each other. So any skills we had as suspension bottoms has quickly deteriorated, along with any delusions of being anything close to decent rope Tops.

So, with that, we begin our Rope Top/Rope bottom boot camp. This consists of doing extremely difficult ties and doing them well. It's also meant to increase our flexibility, our muscle memory and just to be fun.

Day 1 was really simple. We decided to start off slow, just to break in our fresh ropes and to re-introduce our bodies to full suspensions. We did the standard TK side suspension. I feel like such a pansy admitting this, but it hurt. It just showed me how out of practice I really am when it comes to suspensions.

Tonight will be more work and tomorrow, I plan to have some friends over so we can all do some rope practice.

Fucking finally, though, I'm so amped to have a suspension rig!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


This past weekend is one of my favorite parties, DXS Rapture. I love everything about it: the people who run it, the location, the furniture, toys, food and the music (well, now I do, since they replaced the old cranky DJ with Cosmo, who is cooler than cool.) I particularly love it because they brought both Daddy and me on as house riggers and house Doms for their parties. With great power comes great responsibility. Also comes with some pretty awesome perks, but I won't get into that at the moment.

Ever since adopting Kira, Daddy and I haven't had much time to play, aside from our typical non-narwhal sex. Even though our sex is quite kinky -- in fact, I'm not sure we're capable of having vanilla sex -- kinky sex isn't quite a substitute for playing. We needed to remedy that. Before the mass of kinksters flooded this amazing two floor mansion, Daddy made sure to grab the rig and set up a hard point for us to use. Granted, as house riggers, we can grab the rigs whenever we want :)

Daddy's style of tying is interesting, to say the least. He's a wonderful mix of romantic, gentle, rough and violent. I don't think many people could tie the way he does, it just wouldn't translate over. Somewhere between the kisses and being thrown around by my hair, Daddy managed to tie me in a take kote, completely lace a rope down my right leg, frog tie my left leg and connect that to a different point on my chest. The laced right leg was connected to the hard point. The end result? A twisted contortion that left me exposed.

Now, I have no problems being naked in public, but there's something about being spread open in front of people that makes me really embarrassed. The idea that anyone in the room can see my exposed sex, or see how wet I am, doesn't sit well with me. It's not bad enough to be a hard limit, but just enough to really push me to the edge.

Daddy lined the back of my elevated leg with a zipper: a bunch of clothespins connected on a single line. He single tailed some of them, toy with them. Every now and then he would crawl on top of me, rub his fingers against my clit and whisper, "How does it feel right now to be exposed to everyone, you dirty little girl? How does it feel to know everyone can see you right now?"

In my mind, I'm fairly good at handling pain in public. I absolutely cannot handle embarrassment. I started crying instantly. The tears intensify everything I feel and at that moment is when Daddy decided to pull the zipper off.

It was short, intense scene, but something I definitely needed. I think Daddy needed it, too. Hopefully I'll get these pictures soon. Rapture hired a new photographer and I have no idea how quickly she edits things.

Saturday, March 24, 2012


People tend to forget that Daddy and I still a couple, regardless of the titles we place on ourselves. Yes, I am a slave, a little, a toy, a slut, but I'm also his girlfriend and his best friend. While our relationship is by no means equal, he still treats me as a person of value, which I think people who look in on the outside don't seem to understand about certain types of BDSM relationships.

Last night, for example, was perfectly romantic by anyone's standards. At least anyone who believes in the concept of romance. After a long day at work, Daddy came home and made love to me. It was incredibly hot with just the right amount of power exchange to seem extremely passionate without seeming like a porno scene from sex and submission, not that I would complain if it had, of course. A lot of kissing, touching, biting, hair pulling, scratching. That thin line in which pleasure and pain blur. Perfection.

Afterwards, Daddy made us an utterly sweet dinner, completely paleo and healthy. Broiled steaks, green beans, mushrooms and onions (no dainty salads for me), along with some sparkling water with lemon (I've cut back on my drinking because it makes me extra manic and extra depressed within a short period of time).

I'm not sure if you agree, but being properly fucked and then having someone make you dinner is incredibly romantic in my book.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

My Spring Break is Full of Puppies!

Just to show you that my life doesn't revolve around BDSM, I adopted a sweet little pitbull this past weekend. She was literally rescued from someone's backyard. Her previous owners no longer wanted her because she was knocking over their son because she had too much energy. They were planning on just setting free in the woods or selling her as bait for dog fighters: how awful is that!?

She's got the sweetest disposition I've seen and she adores Cha Siu. He isn't used to the puppy and doesn't like her energy level, but he's starting to warm up to her. We decided to name her Akira, or Kira for short.

Here are some oh-so-cute pictures of the two of them. Prepared to "awwwwwww" yourselves to death.

And yes, I am aware they are both flagging for fisting. Daddy and I don't really follow hanky codes (Daddy doesn't even like calling them hankies-"These are fucking bandannas!"), but I do occasionally wear a green band and a grey band on my right wrist, Daddy-little and bondage respectively, just because it's incredibly obvious that my relationship with Daddy revolves around those two aspects.

Wait, how did this post turn towards kink again? Well, since we're on the subject...

After I posed my IDGI post, I got a lot of excellent responses from people who peruse my blog and on fetlife. Unfortunately, I still don't get it. I'll write a more detailed response to it later.

Since we managed to stumble back to kink, here is a picture of Daddy and me playing last weekend.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

IDGI series: Purely Internet D/s Dynamics

The I Don't Get It Series: a mini rant and questioning of things I see or experience. Today I start with internet D/s dynamics.

Earlier today, I spent some time chatting with a rather nice young woman from The Netherlands. She was having a rough time handling her D/s relationship and put out a general note on her blog for advice. Since I am a nice person (usually) and I do have a bit of experience when it comes to D/s dynamics, I decided to send her a message to see what was up.

Her first response gave me some general information about her situation. Each detail seemed like a mini red flag. She's in an online D/s relationship with a man she had never met before who is in a closed marriage. She asked me if I recommend she continue. She also made the claim that she couldn't imagine experiencing D/s with anyone else. That's a pretty bold statement.

It kind of blows my mind how often people engage in this same activity: developing purely online D/s relationships with strangers. Now, I also can't claim to be completely innocent of this. In my younger years, I was desperate to find a Dominant, to know I wasn't crazy for feeling this way and to finally be able to connect to someone who wouldn't think I was strange for wanting to be submissive, and connecting on the internet was the easiest way to get that. And get it quick. As I've grown and matured, I realize that D/s dynamics is not something that just happens magically overnight. I mean, do you go out on one date and then decide to get married? It's definitely akin to that.

As a slave, the idea of giving up complete control is scary, and it should be. It's not something you should give up readily, even if you do identify as submissive. It's something that should be slowly approached and worked on. It's emotionally and mentally challenging and, a lot of times, I need the support of my Dominant, to know that it's okay. I just can't imagine being able to get that same emotional support just on the internet.

As a Top seeking a bottom, or even eventually a submissive, I can't imagine garnering any real pleasure in a D/s relationship in which I could see, touch and experience that person. It seems like it's gypping both parties off. I don't think it's very 'Dom-ly' to give someone a bunch of order over the internet and hope they obey. Where is the development? Where is the fun? Where is the play? Watching someone spank themselves on webcam just won't cut it for me. Also, how do I even know they're listening? How do I punish them if they don't listen?

I see D/s dynamics (and moreover, Master/slave dyamics) as being intimate and super personal. How does one do it with someone they have never even met? I'm not even sure why anyone even does that anymore. With the advent of, collarme and other kinky social networks, there's no excuse to not introduce yourself to your local kink community, make friends and maybe eventually find the right dynamic for you.

If you're in an online D/s relationship and don't agree with me, please post and explain your side. I would love to hear it.