I always start these things and forget about them. I swear, I’ll get around to answering all of these questions someday.
Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to happen.
(triggers for non-consent)
My first kinky sexual experience, eh? Oh man, looks like we’re going to have to dig through a lot of memories. Back when I was just a wee little baby naga bot, I used to date men that were much older than me. In retrospect, it was definitely not a good thing for either of us; I wasn’t emotionally mature and he was…obviously an adult who didn’t have qualms about banging a 16 year old. But that’s not the point of this.
I spent most of my time in his bunker (he was in the military) and we would spend most his days off fucking, sleeping and occasionally eating. He was always a rough lover, but that worked out to his benefit - I wasn’t one for gentle sex. At this point in my life, I knew that I was kinky, but had assumed that most people weren’t and I would have to settle with slightly rough-ish vanilla sex.
He definitely proved me wrong.
I was in his bathroom, naked, brushing my teeth, when he barged in and threw me in the shower. I was so surprised that I didn’t put up a fight when he pushed down his boxers and peed on me. He laughed and went back to bed, while I just sat, urine soaked in his bathtub, tears beginning to form in my eyes.
And before you say it, I didn't LET him pee on me, he forced me. I'm a small girl and, at the time, I was probably only about 110 lbs. Even if I had tried to fight back, I was much too small to do anything.
I had a multitude of emotions run through me: anger, embarrassment, sadness but what hit me the hardest was excitement. In the end, I wasn't as angry or upset with him for peeing on me, but rather that he did it without consent. Consent became a huge concept for me and I realize that I didn’t want just anyone to use me, I wanted it to be with someone I could trust and that truly cared about me.
We both knew that our relationship wouldn’t last because of the age difference, but the lack of consent really pushed it for me and I stopped seeing him promptly afterward. I’m not sure I ever really explained it to him since I was just a kid with poor communication skills. As far as I know, he probably just thinks I freaked out because he peed on me, which is only a half truth.