Too lazy to Update

Have a picture instead.  Shot taken by Moco.  Ropework done by Moco.  Bound in Wykd Moco.  Rope can be purchased on Mocojute.com.

Hopefully, the next time I update, I will have a video of our performance from when we opened for Nawashi Kanna and Kagu Ra.  Looking forward to it!

I did a thing! (Pole Progression)

Like all spoiled little girls, whenever I ask Daddy for something, if I can give him a "legitimate" reason I need it, he'll almost always get it.  The excuse for a dance pole was a thinly veiled one, and actually wasn't enough to get him to want one.  So, I did what every little girl does with a job: used my own money to get it.

Unfortunately, M0co wasn't too pleased I went and did this.  "Baby, money's tight this time of year," he explained, or "You'll just stop using it after a month."  To be fair,  M0co's baseline of judgment is accurate- I do tend to start many a project to just push them literally under the living room table with my yoshi pinata and my sewing kit.  But, like a little girl begging for a puppy, I responded- "Don't worry, Daddy, I promise to use it everyday! It's not a waste of money or time! It's fun for me! and it'll be fun for you!"

To make good on my promise of it being entertaining for him, he made me dance for him several times.  He'd throw on some slow jams on Pandora, sit in Daddy's chair and just watch.  It gave me a mini thrill to be the center of his attention, even if I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing.  Every time I danced for him, it ended with me crawling the our hallway--a fistful of hair in his hand-- to be fucked roughly in bed.

I think I can safely say that M0co has grown fond of having a pole in the house :)

For the last month (the only month) of having a pole here, I've been working really hard on my basic invert.  I'm happy to say that I nailed it finally!  I guess my strength has improved greatly in the last month *flex*

My first basic invert! One month of practice

I'm happy to see progress in myself sometimes, it's easy to lose sight.  I want to say that I'll post monthly updates, but that could be the biggest lie I've ever written.  My goal currently is to at least post progress pics with a timeline.  

What's in Store for 2013?

Happy New Years, readers :)

I can't believe it's already a new year, 2012 seemed so short.  I guess I'm one of those rare few who really enjoyed 2012:  I spent it with an amazing Daddy, friends, pups.  Plus, I graduated :D  My relationship with my family has been strengthening everyday- what was not to love?  I have some amazing expectations for 2013 now.

Daddy requested that I write a list of goals I would like to accomplish in 2013.  He doesn't believe in resolutions at the beginning of the new year, but he does believe in setting goals and how I plan on achieving them.

• Get healthy: I started prepping for Tough Mudder prior to the holidays, which was probably a mistake.  Holidays aren't meant for being healthy and now that the holidays are over, I feel gross.  I've already started cleaning up my diet and exercising again- I need to get back on track for Tough Mudder.
• Work on rope things: As a rope Top, I want to work on my muscle memory, fluidity, and creativity. I think I've come a long way from when I started, but I still have tons of work to do.  Also, I don't want to be that rope Top that is only good at one thing: elevator rides.  I want people think stop and think, "Oh, I really want her to play with me!" and not just "I want her to suspend me."  As a rope bottom, I want to increase my flexibility and work on pain processing.  My goal is to someday be as good a rope bottom as Clover or La Gorgone.
• Work on deep-throating:  Before I met Daddy, I assumed I was good at giving head, or that what I lacked in skill, I made up with enthusiasm.  This apparently isn't true whatsoever; I have no talent deep-throating and it's something I'd like to work on.  I want to be able to work through my gag reflex.  I don't necessarily want to lose it, but I would like to not freak out when it happens.
• Be more active in the community:   When I first joined the kinky community, I was everywhere.  I stuck in fingers in all the pies and tried to be as active as possible.  Now that life has kicked in (school, pups, work, relationships) I've really backed out of the community.  I would like to come back and help out as much as possible.  The community gave so much to me already and I would love to give back.

The Kraken's Lair is also throwing a monthly party.  I think the premise is that each month, we'll be bringing in one unique piece of equipment/device/furniture for everyone to try out.  This month, we're bringing in a fully customizable bondage floor.  You can literally bolt your bottom in any position you can imagine.  I'm not really sure where Sir Ron comes up with this stuff, but it's always amazing.  He recently stained the floors, so they look amazing right now.  Can't wait.

For now, I'll continue to enjoy my funemployment. ;)

Propsal

Since I don't have any classes to attend EVER AGAIN (Yes, I officially graduated Dec 21st!)  I figured now would be a good time to upload that ridiculous video of my engagement here for those who don't have a paid Fetlife account.  I actually hate this video because of my own derpiness, but everyone says it's sickeningly cute.  Enjoy!

The Kraken's Lair

Last night, Daddy and Sir Ron threw a small, private play party in lieu of the whole DCD fiasco.  Sir Ron, in some kind of manic episode, cranked out several really innovative devices for play and since DCD is no longer a thing, we didn't have to haul everything from one location to another; instead, Daddy and Ron had to figure out how to arrange everything inside Sir Ron's beautiful row home.

The night went wonderfully.  I think I enjoy smaller crowds of more intimate friends much more than crazy big play parties that the local community seems to treasure so much.  The only thing I do regret is not being able to watch girlcrush get her head straight-razored.  

Speaking of girlcrush, I have a date with her on Monday! A legit date.  and I don't have anything to wear ;/

Anyways, back to last night...

Long story short, here's a picture of a bruise above my nipple.  I'm not sure who did it or what was done to get it there, but I like it.

Diets. Lifestyles, Dungeons

Earlier this week, I had written a fairly long, slightly angry, wholly depressing blog about being jealous of a girl I had met last year and how that had manifested into this big crazy thing in which I ended up hating myself, getting depressed and getting "fat".  I put fat in quotes because I know I am far from what the actual idea of overweight looks like...well, to most Americans.  Maybe not by Daddy's standards.  I have gained something like 5 lbs in the last few months.  I know that 5 lbs doesn't seem like much, but when you aren't very big to begin with, it's really noticeable.  Rather than subject you to the whining (plus, I'm not sure if said girl follows my blog, but it could be potentially awkward if she were to read it and understand the love-hate-love-hate I feel for her, someone I barely know) I started to overhaul my diet and exercise routines.  No more grains, no more sugars, no more fun at all.  Basically, my drug-free, (mostly) alcohol-free existence is now also carb-free.

It's going on to Day 3 of lifestyle change and my entire body aches.  I have ran a total of 6 miles so far, adding another 3 today.  I've also done more than 2 hours of yoga and rock climbing.  I'm pretty sure my hair hurts, that's how out of shape I am.

I had forgotten how much I hate salads and a brief talk with Issa and Moco mentioning how much they wanted Taco Bell made me momentarily hate them.  Don't they know fun foods are the enemy?  I've been living off fruits, vegetables and nuts/seeds.  I feel like some kind of rodent.  Especially because I'm on a treadmill for 30 minutes a day, running in place, Dieselboy blaring in my ears while I stare, gaping like a stunned trout, at a silenced TV.

I'll probably update the whole healthy lifestyle thing periodically.  and I probably should include pictures! but it's 7:30 am and not in the mood to get out of bed.  I'll start doing the picture thing sometime this afternoon. 

All I want for Christmas is an inquisition...image from the internet somewhere

This Friday was supposed to be Daddy's Party and DC Dungeon.  Lovingly named "Pipechairs and Pears" for device bondage and the Pear of Anguish, this was to be one of the more intense parties in the area. Hard bondage, hard torture, similar to a set of Insex.  Sir Ron even built a wild amount of furniture and devices for play.  It was going to be amazing.  But no, it's not going to happen.

DCDungeon made the grand announcement that it's moving locations!  It's gotten so big and popular that it needs a new space.  Can't wait, it's going to be great!  But where is this new space?  IT DOESN'T EXIST YET.  In order to operate a (legal) play space, a fuck ton of paperwork and permits are needed (ask Uncle Frazier, the owner of The Crucible.)  So, how can we throw a party in a dungeon that no longer exists? Oh right, we can't. Mega-burn ;/ We (as in Sir Ron) dropped a lot of money into making new furniture and devices and now we have to way to find a new location.  The worst part about all of this is people are going to associate the party cancellation with us and not the play space due to how they made their announcement. Thanksssssssssss. DCD.

Positive Messages in the Bathroom

A few weeks ago, one of the women's bathrooms at my university covered the mirror with little pick me up notes.  I had taken a couple of snapshots of them because I thought they were cute and then promptly forgot about them.

Recap because...wtf, where are all the updates?

I guess the biggest update is that...I got engaged! It happened fairly recently, about 2 weeks ago, and a part of me is still not quite sure what happened.  The video to said engagement is posted on my fetlife page (which means, dear viewer, that, yes, it was kind of kinky.)  If I weren't so lazy, I'd upload it here as well, but...I'm mighty lazy.  and also, I really hate the way my voice sounds recorded.

Other than that, the major news is that I was flogged for the first time.  I know that probably seems like a silly sentence; how could someone who seems to be so deep into the BDSM community not have tried flogging before?

Ok, slight edit: It's not that I haven't been flogged before.  In my early baby days of crawling through the plethora of BDSM goodies, I had been flogged a couple of times rather poorly by an unskilled Domly-Doms.  My lack of know-how in negotiating--and trust me when I say almost no one knows how to negotiate when they first start playing publicly-- and research had landed me into thinking that flogging was really...not that interesting.  Wasn't quite stingy.  Wasn't quite thuddy.  Why couldn't it make up its mind?  and the actions done by said Domly-Doms were anything but sexy.  I quietly crammed the notion of being flogged into a small tiny ball and shoved it into the darkest parts of my brain, quickly forgetting about it while I fell in love with being single-tailed and caned.  and those notions pretty much stayed dormant until Fetfest.

That's when we watched Prophet pull out his beautiful handcrafted floggers and show off.

You're probably asking yourself who Prophet is because I haven't ever mentioned him before.  Before I go on, I have to admit, I nicknamed him Chocolate Thunder one day because I couldn't remember his name and felt that it would be the most accurate way to describe him.  He's adopted it and now pretty much everyone in our chosen family has started calling him C. Thundah.  Now...how to describe him...let's just say he follows the Brad Pitt Fight Club exercise regime and he follows it well.

Before we started, we did the typical negotiations:

"Hard limits?"
"No sexual stuff.  Don't break my bones.  Don't send me to the hospital."
"Sure, no problem.  Anything else?
"Oh, yeah, I don't like pain."

He gave me a funny look when I said that; I guessed he had never flogged someone who didn't see themselves as a bonefide pain slut and perhaps he wasn't sure what to do.  He finally decided to start off slow and work our way up until I tapped out.

It didn't seem to have lasted long, but I went through my typical cycle of reactions when dealing with pain: a lot of laughter, tears, rinse repeat.  I'm not sure if that scared Prophet or his partner, who was sitting with Daddy.  She looked quite concerned and I could hear her ask, "Is she alright?  She's laughing...and crying."  Daddy shrugged and said that I knew what to say if I wanted to stop.

It was surprisingly painful.  As I stood there taking the beating, it occurred to me that I not only had never been flogged by anyone remotely close to skilled, but that Prophet was extremely extremely amazing with his craft.  Prophet was able to switch between thuds and stings with little to no effort.  By the end of it, he was winding up and swinging at me the way a baseball player would.  Or at least that's what I'm told.

Later that night, Daddy told me that Prophet was fairly impressed, "For someone who doesn't like pain, she can take quite a flogging."

Begging

"Do you ever think about what life will be like five years from now?"  I asked idly as I stretched out across the bed.  He climbed in as well, pressing his body against mine, I closed my eyes to enjoy the warmth of his skin against mine.  He didn't answer, instead Daddy toyed with my nipples, so gently it was almost like not being touched at all.

"Well? Do you?"  His fingers, so gentle at first, began to massage and pinch a little harder.  I felt myself get a bit excited, but continued my random chatter as his hands continued to drift over my body.  Daddy slid closer to me and I felt him grasp both of my wrists with one hand and pull them above my head.

"I'm going to bite you.  If I stop, you are to ask me to bite you again, do you understand?"  I opened my eyes lazily, not really registering what he said.

"Wha-" I didn't get to finish before he sunk his teeth under my left breast.  I gasped and snapped out of my relaxed stretch, but Daddy had me pinned underneath him, his weight pressing down on top of me.  He released the bite and nipped along my inner arms under his mouth was next to my ear.

"I said," he said as he bit down on my earlobe, "I'm going to bite you and if I stop, you're going to ask me to bite you again.  And you had better not scream.  Wouldn't want to wake up our room-mates, would you?"

With that, he began his onslaught.  His teeth clamped down on me everywhere, my arms, my rib cage, my nipples, stomach, anywhere he wanted.  In between each bites, I would gasp and ask him to bite me again.  Each bite was harder, more painful from the last.  By the time his teeth were set on my hips, I was crying, barely able to get the words out of my mouth.

"I can't understand what you're saying," he said as he continued his rough nibbles and nips.  He had let go of my wrists, knowing I wouldn't try to fight back, pried my thighs opened and bit my inner thigh.  I bit my tongue in order not to scream.  Instead of letting go, he clamped down harder as his fingers dug into my legs.

"Please make love to me!" I blurted out randomly.  I must have surprised him, he released his bite and looked up at me from between my legs.  The look he gave me caused me burst into tears. "Please make love me, Daddy," I begged again as I sat up.  I clumsily pulled myself into his lap and dropped wet kisses all over his face and neck.  He licked my tears and pushed me back down on the bed.  He sat between my legs and looked at my face, then at my sex.

Both were wet.

Recap, Day whatever I haven't posted, Dirty Things, Oh My!

I went through my blog and fixed all the broken images.  At least the images for 30 days of Rope Bondage as well as a couple of random dirty pictures that I particularly liked.  I think the whole switch over to the new interface gave my blog a meltdown.  Hopefully, these pics will stay and I won't have to worry.  I am having issues with creating a background so, for now, I removed it altogether.  I think it actually makes my blog easier to read, so maybe this will be a permanent change.

Day 11 of 30 days of Rope Bondage:

It was super stressful, possibly one of the hardest suspensions I've had to do.  I think it's much more rough than a single column ankle suspension, mostly because my upper body lacks some flexibility (read: completely inflexible.)  I'm fairly proud of myself for being able to handle this :D

Day 12 of 30 Days of Rope Bondage: The photo is up on Daddy's fetlife page.  It was taken with my cell phone and features me, being choked by a neck rope :D

Day 13:  Daddy spent all day in the ridiculously hot sun to make brand new 5 mm jute rope.  We actually purchased a new jute yarn that was INCREDIBLY thin.  New learning curve :)  So the cell phone picture is of all the new rope he had made with Sir Ron C., as well as our new Woody.

What is the Woody you ask?  Last night, at Dirty Things, The Hammer and Lochai actually awarded us The Woody, a large wooden suspension ring that is a hell of a lot more traditional than the metal orb we made :)  We were awarded this for our good behavior, essentially, and the work we do for our community.  I'm not sure how true it is, but according to the leaders of our rope community, Daddy and I are people that have done a lot of great things in fostering the feeling of safety and family.  I hope that's true :) It meant a great deal to us to receive just amazing words from people we admire more than almost anyone on the planet.

Lochai then told us the ring is going to represent the next level of growth for us.  The ring is currently raw and untreated: the next few years with it will show us how we grow and change.  Should be interesting to keep track of how our ring changes in the next few months.

Aw, all warm and fuzzy again just thinking about last night.

Also (and this is going to be so true to form to an adolescent's blog) I kissed girlcrush! Actually, I did lick her nipple first, but for some reason, the kiss was more intimate, even if it was a light peck on her lips.  She was an absolutely pretty dessert table and it took a lot of effort not to be creepy and stare at her.  I guess I could have pretended it was a safety thing since she was in rope, but...no...I just...can't be...creepy.

Is it creepy that I even wrote that?

Days 6 through 11

Late on the upload, been so busy, but we've been actually keeping up with our 30 Days of Rope Bondage. In fact, maybe of our shots have gone Kinky and Popular on fetlife. I guess that isn't saying much, but we were excited. Days 6, 8 and 11 are posted here. Day 10 is actually a video tutorial that can be found on fetlife :) Day 7 is lost, but posted on fetlife. Day 7 is actually what went kinky and popular the longest :)

Day 5- 30 Days of Rope Bondage

Like day 4, Day 5 was particularly challenging for me. I really lack a lot of upper body flexibility, but I can totally see a huge improvement from 6 months ago when we would attempt an armbinder and it would fail horribly. Daddy was inspired by The Hammer's class on armbinders and strapado as well as Zamil's class on TK variations. At this point, it just seems like Daddy is obsessed with hishi patterns. Was a beautiful stretch for my shoulders :) Please forgive the messy bathroom, haha.

Day 4

Day 4's challenging tie really makes up for my boredom with Day 3. I have been working on my flexibility all year and was finally able to do a reverse prayer for the first time a few weeks ago. We wanted to re-create that. Here is Daddy's reverse prayer TK variation. Look at my bliss/bratty face!

30 Days of Rope Bondage - Day 2

We made it to day 2 of 30 Days of Rope Bondage, hurray! It's a new record.

For tonight, Daddy went back to his roots and drew inspiration from insex and used an anal hook. The hook was tied off to my hair and also brought around my face to create a gag and blindfold. Any movement at all caused the anal hook to move and tighten inside me. Painful and exciting. The addition of a rifle tie and double futomomos made the tie extra predicament-y and definitely extra sexy.

I'm a huge fan of anal and I absolutely adored the 20+ photos we took tonight. I was in such a lovely head space for a while afterwards.

Amazing sex, amazing bondage and amazing Daddy. Luckiest girl in the world.

30 Days of Rope Bondage-Day 1

I know Daddy and I tend to start a lot of projects and rarely go through with them (remember the short lived Shibaricon Boot Camp?...yeah, I barely remember it as well), but we decided after much discussion that a 30 Days of Rope Bondage is necessary. We've gotten lazy and in a bondage rut, almost always defaulting to a basic TK or a 3 transition suspension performance (face down, inverted, face up...snoozefest).

The goal of the next 30 days is to push both of us to our edges as Tops and bottoms, to think creatively and to really work on our artistry. Just in time for the guerrilla rigging season, too. Nothing says mediocrity than repeating oneself over and over. We want to prove that we're not just a cut-rate version of NYC rope bomb or the notorious Murphy Blue, who, for the record, is an amazing person, sexy rigger and all around bro. I really dig him and his take on rigging, rope and the art of being a sexy beast.

Anyways, here are the photos from Day 1. Also, another goal by the end of these 30 days is to learn how to edit a damn picture. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Webcams and Whatnot

As I am a poor college student with no real ambitions and job at the moment, I earn money the easiest way I know how: webcamming. It's easier than a vast majority of jobs out there. I can work my own hours and pretty much be my own boss. Sure, I have to pretend to be attracted to whoever is on the other side of the computer and probably never speak to them again after they've spent their money and achieved orgasm, but I'm alright with that. It still beats any possible store discount I could get and I can be myself.

A majority of the money I make actually comes from selling photosets and videos rather than live cam chatting. Most of the photosets involve (surprise!) bondage and BDSM, which is perfect because Daddy really enjoys tying me up and shooting me ("Tie up my girl, take pictures AND get paid for it? This has got to be a crime.") A lot of the photosets can be sold and resold over and over. Something like an hour of photography and an additional 30 minutes of editing on photoshop (and no, I don't actually photoshop myself to look thinner or have clearer skin or cover up that unsightly pubic stubble- rather just resizing images since the camera I have is extremely high quality) can end up making me $100 or more. What's not to love?

Live camming is much more interesting to me, but probably makes me less money overall. A lot of times, the internet men aren't just looking for a quick nut when it comes to live camming, instead, it tends to be more conversation, like talking with a long distance lover (or what I assume it would be like, I've never had a long distance lover). I tend to have 3-10 really loyal clients that I speak to regularly. I know them all by name, their careers, their dreams, goals and aspirations.

Ah, the GFE, the girlfriend experience. Just the closeness, the voice, the gentle intimate conversation is enough for some fellas. Sometimes I forget these are things people crave because, true to robot form, I don't crave them the way most people seem to. In fact, I may put more effort into these e-lationships than I would in a typical face to face relationship. These men not only are investing their time and emotions, they invest quite a bit of money. I have to deliver right?

I always feel a bit guilty, though. These men have come to care for a girl who isn't even real. A lot of what I tell them, my name, my age, where I live, etc - they tend to be all made up. I don't know how much they really care about statistics and facts like that, perhaps deep down inside they all know I'm just a liar when it comes to meaningless facts. Most of these men tend to be more interested in the intimate conversations about my dogs, or how rock climbing went today. Those are never lies.

Strangely enough, when I do these live cam streams with a gentlemen who seems to deeply care for me, I tend to sing to myself or have music playing in my head. and it's always tends to be Dean Martin's "Ain't That a Kick In The Head?" Seems so fitting when I think about it.

Blow Jobs

I could write something about blow jobs, but I would rather just show you.

B&B- The Dark Circus.

Last night was Beats and Bondage, a play party with the theme...well, beats and bondage: really awesome music, play and usually some type of art performance and a bondage performance. This month's additional theme was "The Dark Circus." Moose, the beating heart of this project, requested that Daddy and I do a performance and, of course since he's one of our photographers for BGSC as well as an awesome friend, we readily agreed to it.

What I didn't agree to was the premise of the performance. In my mind, it would be a typical Japanses-inspired rough-me-up-slap-some-rope-on-me-and-put-me-in-the-air-beautifully kind of thing. Y'know...the same thing we're always hired to do. Instead, I read this:

Watch as M0co tames the savage robo-lion Beemo! A man so brave he needs no whip, but only a few coils of rope and a cane to tame and cage this bestial cyborg. Make sure you give him room to work though folks. I've heard that Beemo has a wicked bite and a veracious appetite.

Wait-what?...a lion? (The robot part is a long story and inside joke with my friends, so that doesn't bother me). This isn't the traditional Japanese with a twist I had imagined. Why? Why a lion? Why me?

"Because, it's a circus, baby," Daddy explained somewhat impatiently, "and you will be a lion or some form of big game cat and you will enjoy it. End of story."

So for weeks, I lamented the costume I had to concoct and the behaviors I would have to adopt. I voiced my complaints almost daily, almost to the point where Daddy would threaten punishment if I didn't stop. I racked my brain to figure out costume ideas that I would enjoy and always came up empty. I've never considered pet play before as something I would be interested in. I know some of my behavior does contradict that: I'm often barking, meowing, crawling around, wrestling or drinking out of a puppy dish. My usually write off those acts as being part of a little: littles pretend to be other things for attention.

Then it hit me: attention! If anything, me dressed up as a lion (or some kind of big game cat) would get me extra attention because it's so out of character. There are three main motivators in my life: spite, sex and attention. (Wow, does that sound as awful as I think it sounds?) If something manages to hit one of those big three, I automatically do it, consequences be damned.

Of course, by the time I gave into the idea of this performance, it was too late to make my own costume, so Daddy took me to some party store and bought me one of those awful girly girl insta-cat kits that came with a eared headband, a furry necklace/choker, furry wrist cuffs and a tail. It was very corny and something you'd expect to see a drunk sorority girl wearing with a leotard and fishnets. So...right up my alley. Daddy told me to wear whatever I want it at the party, but to make it "lion like."

I decided to go naked. Lions don't wear clothes, that would just be ridiculous. The best part was I was able to attach the tail to my NJoy butt plug. (Have I mentioned how much I absolutely adore NJoy products? A must have in all households)

So the second we got into the play space, behind those closed doors, I removed everything and pranced around naked sans cuffs, collar, tail and ears. I can't claim to be the first to be naked, but definitely one of the first few. Daddy smiled as he pet my head and said that although I wasn't exact lion-like, I was a pretty adorable cat of some sort.

The performance went pretty smoothly. It was a bit strange being able to fight back a bit during the scene, mostly biting and hissing (do big game cats hiss...?) but the reaction Daddy gave me after a few bites and scratches were so worth it. He tossed me around easily enough, throwing me on the floor, tying me in his own unique-yet-strangely-Japanese style, pulling my hair, kicking me and having as much fun as possible. I was euphoric for hours afterwards.

I was able to connect with girlcrush, although I feel like since we pushed off our date for so long, she has become disenchanted with me. I'm no longer a shiny new object, but that's alright. She's still an awesome person and a great friend. I invited her and her boyfriend over to dinner during Fusion weekend since no one will be around. Hopefully she and I will get a chance to reconnect and see what happens. :)

At some point that night, Daddy and I asked Moose if we could play with his babygirl, Bunni. Moose gave us permission and we asked if he would like to join in. He grinned through his clown make up and agreed. We worked quickly, tying Bunni to a St. Andrew's cross and commenced the beating. Daddy was able to tie her breasts up fairly tight. She looked absolutely beautiful.

As proof that we don't take ourselves too seriously, Moose let us beat Bunni with some ridiculous things: clown shoes and rubber chickens. I don't remember laughing so hard while playing before, it was so much fun. It was really truly living up to the term "play" we use.

So now, I can officially scratch off pet play and beating someone with a rubber chicken off my Kink list, which is a good thing since I always try not to be judgemental, my kink is not your kink etc etc. I still don't really understand pet play, though.

The Week Long No Orgasm Challenge (AKA I must be fucking stupid to have attempted this)

I think that it's quite plain that I absolutely adore having sex. Wait, minor correction: I absolutely adore having sex with Daddy. He's the first man to actually make me cum in bed (I admit, I am guilty of faking MANY an orgasm in the past just to get the person to stop rutting on top of me so I could leave and pleasure myself) and to make me cum so thoroughly that half of the time, I could just curl up into an over-sexed ball and pass out. The other half of the time, I'm demanding more sex and more orgasms, to the point of where I am kind of spoiled and ungrateful.

I was starting to realize my behavior was getting out of control. If I didn't have sex a minimum of 4 times a day (6 is what makes me happiest, if not more) I would be wildly moody. I would go from extremely angry ("Why the fuck would you fuck me and not let me cum?") to ridiculously depressed ("The world is a lonely lonely place without orgasms...le sigh.") to pleading and bargaining ("Daddy, I will give you whatever you want, just please make me cum!")

Oh...my....gosh...I'm addicted to orgasms. My attitude was no different from someone addicted to cocaine or heroin. They have become my narcotic and I was increasingly unstable unless I got my fix. It became some consuming, I had time for little else. So, what does one do to kick a habit that is so deeply ingrained into their lifestyle? By going cold turkey, of course!

Now, I'm not absolutely crazy. I decided that since orgasms aren't BAD for me (just my behavior when I don't get what I deem as enough) one week sans orgasm would be enough to teach me a valuable lesson in...I don't even know...stuff? It would be just like kicking a heroin addiction: a week without, a few cold sweats and nightmares and then I would be clean and sober.

Should be cake. I can do this, I told myself.

Well, unlike heroin, I couldn't escape sex. I couldn't leave it on the corner somewhere in Baltimore, avoid the calls from my dealer, lock myself in my room and sweat it out. Whenever Daddy wants sex, I give it to him. Believe me when I say he wants it quite frequently.

There is no sex rehab in this household.

I lasted 3 days. 3 of the longest days of my life and spanned all the stages of overcoming addiction. By the end of it, I was achy, sweaty and desperate. I would have willingly gave away precious government secrets if Daddy would just say the magic words.

He's truly a sadist, sometimes. He had so much fun bringing me so close to the edge and leaving me there while he got to cum whenever and however he felt like. I think my day 3, though, he was sick of seeing the tears in my eyes and the mopey behavior around the house. He let me go cum without reprimand, but did state that in the future, a majority of my punishments would be long-term orgasm denial.

I miss the caning already.

The Kink Bubble

Most people don't live the life I do and I really do forget that things I find to be normal and everyday are a pervert's ultimate fantasy. Every once in a while, I'll be sitting in a lecture hall, listening to a professor talk rattle on and on about some amazing epigenetic discovery, while I stare into a sea of nameless faces and think, "Wow, none of you have any idea, do you?"

It seems like I've safely ensconced myself in a kink bubble. Almost all my friends, my connections, my life is tied to the lifestyle. No, slight correction, this is who I am; it just happens to permeate through all facets of my life. At this point, I'm not even sure I can reliably carry a conversation with a Narwhal. I'm not even sure how I managed to beforehand, and, when I really dwell on that, I realize I probably didn't. I usually don't speak at all or I say something that would deem me as an improper young lady (in the bad sense).

Now, Narwhals are just that: creatures that I watch carefully as they swim in their gigantic glass tanks, utterly fascinated by their everyday existence. Is that Narwhal there trying to mate? What a bizarre ritual! Their communication just sounds like a series of clicks and calls that entertain me, but mean next to nothing. How do I even begin to decipher?


When did I become a Whale Biologist?