This blog contains, but isn't limited to, graphic sexual horror, BDSM, sex, robots, science, food, rock climbing, bouldering, politics and general bric-a-brac. Not suitable for children under 18. Honestly, probably not suitable for most humans.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


This past weekend is one of my favorite parties, DXS Rapture. I love everything about it: the people who run it, the location, the furniture, toys, food and the music (well, now I do, since they replaced the old cranky DJ with Cosmo, who is cooler than cool.) I particularly love it because they brought both Daddy and me on as house riggers and house Doms for their parties. With great power comes great responsibility. Also comes with some pretty awesome perks, but I won't get into that at the moment.

Ever since adopting Kira, Daddy and I haven't had much time to play, aside from our typical non-narwhal sex. Even though our sex is quite kinky -- in fact, I'm not sure we're capable of having vanilla sex -- kinky sex isn't quite a substitute for playing. We needed to remedy that. Before the mass of kinksters flooded this amazing two floor mansion, Daddy made sure to grab the rig and set up a hard point for us to use. Granted, as house riggers, we can grab the rigs whenever we want :)

Daddy's style of tying is interesting, to say the least. He's a wonderful mix of romantic, gentle, rough and violent. I don't think many people could tie the way he does, it just wouldn't translate over. Somewhere between the kisses and being thrown around by my hair, Daddy managed to tie me in a take kote, completely lace a rope down my right leg, frog tie my left leg and connect that to a different point on my chest. The laced right leg was connected to the hard point. The end result? A twisted contortion that left me exposed.

Now, I have no problems being naked in public, but there's something about being spread open in front of people that makes me really embarrassed. The idea that anyone in the room can see my exposed sex, or see how wet I am, doesn't sit well with me. It's not bad enough to be a hard limit, but just enough to really push me to the edge.

Daddy lined the back of my elevated leg with a zipper: a bunch of clothespins connected on a single line. He single tailed some of them, toy with them. Every now and then he would crawl on top of me, rub his fingers against my clit and whisper, "How does it feel right now to be exposed to everyone, you dirty little girl? How does it feel to know everyone can see you right now?"

In my mind, I'm fairly good at handling pain in public. I absolutely cannot handle embarrassment. I started crying instantly. The tears intensify everything I feel and at that moment is when Daddy decided to pull the zipper off.

It was short, intense scene, but something I definitely needed. I think Daddy needed it, too. Hopefully I'll get these pictures soon. Rapture hired a new photographer and I have no idea how quickly she edits things.

Saturday, March 24, 2012


People tend to forget that Daddy and I still a couple, regardless of the titles we place on ourselves. Yes, I am a slave, a little, a toy, a slut, but I'm also his girlfriend and his best friend. While our relationship is by no means equal, he still treats me as a person of value, which I think people who look in on the outside don't seem to understand about certain types of BDSM relationships.

Last night, for example, was perfectly romantic by anyone's standards. At least anyone who believes in the concept of romance. After a long day at work, Daddy came home and made love to me. It was incredibly hot with just the right amount of power exchange to seem extremely passionate without seeming like a porno scene from sex and submission, not that I would complain if it had, of course. A lot of kissing, touching, biting, hair pulling, scratching. That thin line in which pleasure and pain blur. Perfection.

Afterwards, Daddy made us an utterly sweet dinner, completely paleo and healthy. Broiled steaks, green beans, mushrooms and onions (no dainty salads for me), along with some sparkling water with lemon (I've cut back on my drinking because it makes me extra manic and extra depressed within a short period of time).

I'm not sure if you agree, but being properly fucked and then having someone make you dinner is incredibly romantic in my book.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

My Spring Break is Full of Puppies!

Just to show you that my life doesn't revolve around BDSM, I adopted a sweet little pitbull this past weekend. She was literally rescued from someone's backyard. Her previous owners no longer wanted her because she was knocking over their son because she had too much energy. They were planning on just setting free in the woods or selling her as bait for dog fighters: how awful is that!?

She's got the sweetest disposition I've seen and she adores Cha Siu. He isn't used to the puppy and doesn't like her energy level, but he's starting to warm up to her. We decided to name her Akira, or Kira for short.

Here are some oh-so-cute pictures of the two of them. Prepared to "awwwwwww" yourselves to death.

And yes, I am aware they are both flagging for fisting. Daddy and I don't really follow hanky codes (Daddy doesn't even like calling them hankies-"These are fucking bandannas!"), but I do occasionally wear a green band and a grey band on my right wrist, Daddy-little and bondage respectively, just because it's incredibly obvious that my relationship with Daddy revolves around those two aspects.

Wait, how did this post turn towards kink again? Well, since we're on the subject...

After I posed my IDGI post, I got a lot of excellent responses from people who peruse my blog and on fetlife. Unfortunately, I still don't get it. I'll write a more detailed response to it later.

Since we managed to stumble back to kink, here is a picture of Daddy and me playing last weekend.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

IDGI series: Purely Internet D/s Dynamics

The I Don't Get It Series: a mini rant and questioning of things I see or experience. Today I start with internet D/s dynamics.

Earlier today, I spent some time chatting with a rather nice young woman from The Netherlands. She was having a rough time handling her D/s relationship and put out a general note on her blog for advice. Since I am a nice person (usually) and I do have a bit of experience when it comes to D/s dynamics, I decided to send her a message to see what was up.

Her first response gave me some general information about her situation. Each detail seemed like a mini red flag. She's in an online D/s relationship with a man she had never met before who is in a closed marriage. She asked me if I recommend she continue. She also made the claim that she couldn't imagine experiencing D/s with anyone else. That's a pretty bold statement.

It kind of blows my mind how often people engage in this same activity: developing purely online D/s relationships with strangers. Now, I also can't claim to be completely innocent of this. In my younger years, I was desperate to find a Dominant, to know I wasn't crazy for feeling this way and to finally be able to connect to someone who wouldn't think I was strange for wanting to be submissive, and connecting on the internet was the easiest way to get that. And get it quick. As I've grown and matured, I realize that D/s dynamics is not something that just happens magically overnight. I mean, do you go out on one date and then decide to get married? It's definitely akin to that.

As a slave, the idea of giving up complete control is scary, and it should be. It's not something you should give up readily, even if you do identify as submissive. It's something that should be slowly approached and worked on. It's emotionally and mentally challenging and, a lot of times, I need the support of my Dominant, to know that it's okay. I just can't imagine being able to get that same emotional support just on the internet.

As a Top seeking a bottom, or even eventually a submissive, I can't imagine garnering any real pleasure in a D/s relationship in which I could see, touch and experience that person. It seems like it's gypping both parties off. I don't think it's very 'Dom-ly' to give someone a bunch of order over the internet and hope they obey. Where is the development? Where is the fun? Where is the play? Watching someone spank themselves on webcam just won't cut it for me. Also, how do I even know they're listening? How do I punish them if they don't listen?

I see D/s dynamics (and moreover, Master/slave dyamics) as being intimate and super personal. How does one do it with someone they have never even met? I'm not even sure why anyone even does that anymore. With the advent of, collarme and other kinky social networks, there's no excuse to not introduce yourself to your local kink community, make friends and maybe eventually find the right dynamic for you.

If you're in an online D/s relationship and don't agree with me, please post and explain your side. I would love to hear it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Bottom's Guide to Playing it Safe

I feel like I name drop her a lot, but indey is an incredible source of knowledge. I think everyone should read A Bottom's Guide 101: Playing It Safe. It contains a lot of really great, useful information for those who are interested in bottoming, looking for play partners or is curious about BDSM in general. Not enough people come in with the knowledge and education that keeps everyone safe, here's a good place to start!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Monday, March 5, 2012

Weekend Recap

This past weekend was another crazy weekend in which I slept very little, studied and played way too much. I haven't really found the proper balance of school, play, sleep, but so far, I've been managing it.

Friday was, of course, Dirty Things. I think this happens to be my favorite play party since it is rope bondage oriented and I feel most at home with those who also love bondage. It was a particularly exciting DT, we were able to unveil our new custom-made suspension rings, raffle off our first BGSC print, raise money for NCSF and generally spend time with really great friends.

For months now, Daddy has been waiting (im)patiently for Adam the wielder to craft our suspension rings. I think we asked for it in early December '11 and now they finally arrived! Whoohoo! The shape is that of two circles combined into a sphere or globe. We absolutely love it for transitions and it gives you so much more surface area at the bottom to work with. I no longer worry about carabiners getting jammed up :D yay for improvements. I think that, if there's enough interest, we may mass produce these bad-boys and start selling them.

We were able to raise over $150 collectively for NCSF. We worked with N and J,who did their own fundraiser (for a buck you could spank J once). I'm happy to be able to bring some money, even if it isn't much, to their organization. If you aren't familiar with NCSF, check them out here.

Strangely enough, indey (eroticwetatomic blog) won and now she has a BGSC print. I swear, this isn't rigged. Now she can be the proud owner of the classic BGSC crew in Graffiti Alley. Yay!

Saturday morning was full of trials and tribulations for me. I know I've stated before that I'm very much into anal play, but I realize that I am quite the amateur when it comes to anal training. Like it never occurred to me that some things are just too big to place into your butt without lube and some warm-up. Let me regale you with this cautionary tale.

Daddy and I went to our favorite sex shop ever right before Dirty Things, Chained Desires. We had a gift certificate from Christmas that we had been dying to use, but wanted to wait for the perfect item. He decided what was needed was more anal toys and I readily agreed. In the shop, Daddy picked out exactly what he wanted: Savage Balls. A red flag went off in my head at the name, but I wasn't truly nervous about it until we used them that Saturday morning.

Rather than try to explain what Savage Balls looks like, here is a picture, curtesy of

Now, the size of each ball didn't really worry me, I've put bigger things in my ass. What was really throwing me off on my game were the little silicone spikes coming off the ball. Yes, I know, you're all thinking, "Wtf, it's just silicone, suck it up and stick it in." Well, let me tell you, I did and it HURT. I don't think I've ever used so much lube in my life. The feeling was very disconcerting, like some kind of long spiky creature was scratching away at my insides. I couldn't keep it in for very long and the process of pulling out these balls is a lot less glamorous than putting them in. There was quite a bit of bleeding for a few hours and some intense frowning and complaints on my part.

I will admit, though, the 3-4 minutes in which the Savage Balls were in and Daddy fucked me were incredibly intense. Maybe one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had.

I later asked the leading put-stuff-in-butt expert, Hamsandwich, and he asked me what kind of prep I did. Prep? Oh...well, I...put lube on and...that was it. He shook his head and told me that I need to warm up that area before trying to shove things into it. Makes sense. I told Daddy about that and he joked, "Oh, I thought the warm up was putting the smallest one in first." Jerk!

I think I may buy these for Hamsandwich so he can test them on himself and let me know what he thinks. This product may be tainted in my mind for a while.

I spent the majority of Saturday studying for my biochem mid-term. I was determined to stay home all night, but only a few hours into studying, I began to have cabin fever and needed to escape. I gave indey and Kamm a ring and asked if I could carpool down with them to another party, Nerdgasm.

Now, Nerdgasm isn't something I would typically attend. It's definitely geared towards the younger, newer players, and I just couldn't imagine the type of play I enjoy being in and watching being there. Regardless, my friend, Leo, and dreamcrush, Daria, both said they were attending, so why not? I decided to throw on my best, sluttiest school girl outfit and head over.

Surprisingly, a lot of people I do like ended up being there: Hamsandwich, Bettie Rage, Leo...but not dreamcrush. Sigh, oh well.

I was able to do a long awaited suspension on Leo :) I transitioned zir a couple of times and was able to get photos from the staff. Zi said it was the most comfy suspension to date :D I don't know if zi is blowing smoke up my sore ass, but it was nice to hear :D I was also able to tie up St. Nicky, the patron saint of all things incredibly sexy. At one point, as I was tying her hair, I had this odd realization that this is exactly how Daddy feels when he ties up little Asian girls. Was a lot of fun and definitely made for some cute pics :)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Random Update

I've been working on an entry about my abduction at Winter Fire '12, but for some reason, the writing seems too forced and stagnant, so I decided to hold off on posting it. Sorry to those of you who've been waiting to read the experience, I just don't know how to put it into words.

As the weather warms up, I realize that it's time to officially start kicking my butt in the gym. I would ideally like to lose 15 lbs, but I'm told that it would put me at an unhealthy weight for my size, according to the BMI. I think it would give me a good muscle to fat ratio. The real problem is knowing that I could lose 4-5 lbs and then hit a wall. Daddy hasn't been putting a strict diet on me, like he usually does. In fact, he let me have pizza and soda last night. I only ate one slice and drank a couple of sips before ultimately deciding to eat a piece of celery with peanut butter. I guess it's a good thing that my body is craving pretty decent eats at the moment.

Tomorrow is Dirty Things, a play party we host with Rope Bite Baltimore and Bondage Club Baltimore. Should be fun times, hopefully I'll have more to report.