This blog contains, but isn't limited to, graphic sexual horror, BDSM, sex, robots, science, food, rock climbing, bouldering, politics and general bric-a-brac. Not suitable for children under 18. Honestly, probably not suitable for most humans.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I'm a Brave Little Toaster- A Review on My Genital Piercings

The last time I was pierced I was in the second grade: I was getting my ears done.  It was not by choice: my mom thought I would look really cute with earrings and my aunts (all 15 of them) kept buying me earrings and getting upset with me for not having holes in order to wear them.  I barely remember that experience except for the feelings of nerves and excitement bubbling away in my stomach.

That’s exactly how I felt this morning when I woke up: all nerves and excitement.

For the past year or so, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a triangle piercing (What is a triangle?).   After doing a lot of research and getting scared because almost every experience I read about said it was incredibly painful and one girl who told me she had to get it done TWICE and it still migrated, I decided to give it a shot.  It seemed like the majority of people who had theirs done fell in love with it regardless of the initial pain of the needle.

As a last minute addition, I also decided I wanted to get my labia pierced.  Daddy and I really love the look of them and my room-mate got hers done so I plied her with a million questions about the pain level and healing (“Yes, they really fucking hurt.  Good luck.”)  I originally wanted to do 3 on each side of the outer labia, 6 total, but chickened out and decided 1 on each side, 2 total, would be more than enough.  I also toyed with the idea of doing the triangle first and labia after, but the idea of having that much healing time (and no sex) was extra unappealing.  Might as well get it done all at once!

For my piercings, I went to the only man I trust: Moose B.Almighty at Time Bomb Tattoo.  Moose has a ridiculous amount of experience with genital piercings and is super professional in his work.  He checked my anatomy a few months prior to make sure I was a candidate.  After a quick inspection and a tiny anatomy lesson to all my friends who happened to be there as well, Moose declared that my anatomy would work just fine with a triangle.

The worst part is the waiting and measuring- my overactive imagination went crazy.  I imagined me crying, kicking and screaming and demanding no more.  I imagined leaving with uneven piercings or injuries.  I was worried that I would be so scared I would pee on the table and Moose.  Moose, being the awesome perfectionist he is, spent the majority of time talking to me about what was about to happen while he prepped me for piercings: he applied tons of various cleaners with q-tips, measured and marked me with one of those pens used for surgeries.  He showed me with a mirror to see if I was happy with the placement and proceeded to pierce.

We did the triangle first since it requires the most concentration and having other rings in the way would make it so much tougher.  Moose used a clamp to ensure everything was in the right place and pierced me with a 14 gauge needle.  The needle itself wasn't bad at all; the pain came from using a stretcher tool to bring the hole up to a 12 gauge for the ring.  The pain wasn't unbearable, just surprising, intense for a few seconds and a bit disconcerting to feel something stretching underneath your skin.  The triangle was quick, less than 2 minutes total to do.  Moose used a curved barbell and carefully tucked the ends of the ring into my labia folds to prevent them from getting snagged on anything.  The labia were done in the same manner, using 12-gauge needles and 10-gauge jewelry.  The jewelry used was a ring with a capture bead.

So now I’m all shiny and the labia rings clink lightly when they rub against one another.  Everything feels pretty solid at the moment.  I am walking a little strangely at the moment, but I think that’s just a mental thing.  No bleeding, no funny business, no one got peed on! Success!

The piercings feel amazing and I wish I could have sex at the moment, but Daddy says I can’t for sanitary reasons.  Daddy also said that everything only feels erotic at the moment, but once I start healing, it’ll be another story.  I’ll be sure to update.

Moose said the piercings went really smoothly, textbook even.  Of course it would, I’m a good robot- I’m technically sound :D

Here’s a picture of the piercings (photo editing done by Hamsandwich).  I have to spread the lips a bit so you can see the triangle- it’s pretty hidden normally.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

30 Days of Kink, take 2, Day 17.

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Oh man…the misconceptions….THE MISCONCEPTIONS! Where do I even begin? Here is a list of misconceptions, feel free to add to this in the comments. I’ll probably keep adding to this as I see fit.

People who engage in BDSM have psychological problems. This is so wrong on so many levels. A lot of Narwhals believe that those who identify as Master/Dominants/Tops are abusive and look for those who are weaker in order to take advantage of them and that those who identify as slaves/submissives/bottoms have a long history of abuse and tend to be push-overs. While these do exist, they majority of people you’ll meet that engage in BDSM are absolutely normal. In some ways, they are even healthier psychologically: they are able to express their sexuality and needs. Most people cannot claim that. Another myth that tends to go hand in hand with this is that those in BDSM tend to abuse drugs and alcohol. I can honestly say that at any BDSM event I’ve attended, I have never seen someone over-indulge in alcohol to the point of being drunk. Drugs are pretty much frowned upon and are strictly prohibited at events. I strongly believe that if you need drugs or alcohol in order to play or engage in BDSM, you shouldn’t be doing it at all.

All Males are Masters, all females are slaves. Ah, if you were to believe everything you see in movies, internet, and books, all BDSM relationships are hetero normative and the male is always the dominant and the female is always the submissive. This could NOT be further from the truth. The BDSM community has a healthy mix of non-hetero normative groups and couples. A few months ago, one of my favorite tumblrs featured a lesbian couple who were engaged in a power exchange relationship. I thought it was fantastically hot. Also, the internet and books would have you believe that all females in situations like this will default to being the slave. SO MUCH BS. A fair amount of those who identify as women connect more to being a Top or Dom(me). and lets not forget about switches :) They are super prevalent in the community as well.

 • BDSM is all about hurting someone. When ‘BDSM’ is mentioned, most images conjured by the mind are dark, dank dungeons, beating someone until they cry, and sex. BDSM is so much more than that; it can be a power exchange, it can be a lifestyle, and it can be completely non-sexual. My friend, EroticWetAtomic, can attest to this; she has a power exchange relationship with her fiance, but there is very little play, meaning she doesn’t get whipped or beaten by him. BDSM, to me, isn’t about pain or suffering, it’s more about the power exchange that occurs. I personally do not love being beaten - I mean, I like a good whipping every now and then and I find bruises to be sexy, but I am not typically one to enjoy being paddled or spanked. I also tend to Top in a way that is more stressful than painful. There’s also a spiritual aspect to kink (aka woo). I don’t know much about woo, but I know it’s there and very real for some kinksters.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

How DNA Taught me to be a Better Person (Robot?)

I remember being in 6th grade and learning about DNA for the first time; I was watching Jurassic Park.  Dinosaurs were made of DNA.  I’m made of DNA.  If I take DNA from a mosquito, stick it in a frog egg, I can make dinosaurs! ...What the hell is DNA?

Fast forward through middle school and high school and I finally learn what DNA is from general Biology courses. DNA is a genetic blueprint. DNA eventually makes RNA which makes proteins.  Watson and Crick.  Central Dogma.  DNA to RNA to protein.  DNA to RNA to protein.  This is how it is.  This is always how it is; it goes in this direction and only this direction.  It’s predictable and understandable.  Still unsure of how to make dinosaurs from mosquitos and frogs’ eggs, but I’m sure college will tell me.

Imagine the confusion of me going to college and learning that it’s not that simple.  That RNA can make DNA.  Or that RNA can make RNA.  After all those years of things being a certain way, it’s suddenly not that way anymore.  Oh, and it’s pretty much impossible to make dinosaurs from mosquitos and frogs (which I guess is a bonus for me because I’m absolutely terrified of frogs.)

At this point, I realized I have two options: I can both ignore this fact and continue to only believe in The Central Dogma (DNA to RNA to protein) and be stuck in this outdated way of thinking or I can learn the rest of the story.  Knowing I wouldn’t get very far as a Scientist without being open-minded, I read the research articles, took the classes, and replicated the experiments.

Maybe for the first year or so, I would still pause in the middle of whatever I was doing and think, “Hey man, this can’t be right…the Central Dogma says…oh…riiiiight….”  I’d draw the Central Dogma out and then doodle frowny faces around it because I felt like I had been lied to.  I threw away my Jurassic Park VHS away in a fit of anger (Okay, so I threw that away with the advent of DVDs, but you catch my drift….).  I eventually learned and figured it out with practice and patience.  Plus, I learned a lot of awesome things (“I use miRNA to silence mRNAs.  It’s like RNA blackmail,” and “HIV uses reverse transcriptase to FUCK SHIT UP,” are among the awesome things I can now claim I know.)

Nowadays, when I talk about DNA, I don’t automatically go, “Ah, DNA to RNA to protein!” I mean, that’s still in the back of my head, but I know that isn’t the whole story.  I know that proteins can modify proteins.  I know that there are viruses that are only RNA.  Epigenetics alters gene expression without ever changing the blue-print.  I know the flow of genetic information isn’t a straight line; there are millions of lines, many of which I may never learn about, see, or experience.  And that’s okay.

But why just stop at DNA?

I realized that a lot of things I thought I knew or understood were only a part of the whole story.  My definitions of things, while not necessarily inaccurate, may not be someone else’s definition.  There are millions of ways to do one thing, not just the one “right" way.  There may be things I won’t ever learn, see, or experience.  And that’s okay, as long as I keep an open mind and a willingness to learn.

Still no dinosaur, yet, though. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

What's in Store for 2013?

Happy New Years, readers :)

I can't believe it's already a new year, 2012 seemed so short.  I guess I'm one of those rare few who really enjoyed 2012:  I spent it with an amazing Daddy, friends, pups.  Plus, I graduated :D  My relationship with my family has been strengthening everyday- what was not to love?  I have some amazing expectations for 2013 now.

Daddy requested that I write a list of goals I would like to accomplish in 2013.  He doesn't believe in resolutions at the beginning of the new year, but he does believe in setting goals and how I plan on achieving them.

  • Get healthy: I started prepping for Tough Mudder prior to the holidays, which was probably a mistake.  Holidays aren't meant for being healthy and now that the holidays are over, I feel gross.  I've already started cleaning up my diet and exercising again- I need to get back on track for Tough Mudder.
  • Work on rope things: As a rope Top, I want to work on my muscle memory, fluidity, and creativity. I think I've come a long way from when I started, but I still have tons of work to do.  Also, I don't want to be that rope Top that is only good at one thing: elevator rides.  I want people think stop and think, "Oh, I really want her to play with me!" and not just "I want her to suspend me."  As a rope bottom, I want to increase my flexibility and work on pain processing.  My goal is to someday be as good a rope bottom as Clover or La Gorgone.
  • Work on deep-throating:  Before I met Daddy, I assumed I was good at giving head, or that what I lacked in skill, I made up with enthusiasm.  This apparently isn't true whatsoever; I have no talent deep-throating and it's something I'd like to work on.  I want to be able to work through my gag reflex.  I don't necessarily want to lose it, but I would like to not freak out when it happens.
  • Be more active in the community:   When I first joined the kinky community, I was everywhere.  I stuck in fingers in all the pies and tried to be as active as possible.  Now that life has kicked in (school, pups, work, relationships) I've really backed out of the community.  I would like to come back and help out as much as possible.  The community gave so much to me already and I would love to give back.

The Kraken's Lair is also throwing a monthly party.  I think the premise is that each month, we'll be bringing in one unique piece of equipment/device/furniture for everyone to try out.  This month, we're bringing in a fully customizable bondage floor.  You can literally bolt your bottom in any position you can imagine.  I'm not really sure where Sir Ron comes up with this stuff, but it's always amazing.  He recently stained the floors, so they look amazing right now.  Can't wait.

For now, I'll continue to enjoy my funemployment. ;)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Since I don't have any classes to attend EVER AGAIN (Yes, I officially graduated Dec 21st!)  I figured now would be a good time to upload that ridiculous video of my engagement here for those who don't have a paid Fetlife account.  I actually hate this video because of my own derpiness, but everyone says it's sickeningly cute.  Enjoy!