This blog contains, but isn't limited to, graphic sexual horror, BDSM, sex, robots, science, food, rock climbing, bouldering, politics and general bric-a-brac. Not suitable for children under 18. Honestly, probably not suitable for most humans.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Weekend Recap

Beats and Bondage, an incredible hybrization dance-party slash play party slash actual awesome party kicked off my super long weekend. I was really excited for this particular event since classes just started and I felt like I needed a break already. Technically, I wasn't a guest at this party, I was working, although, I guess I could argue that I'm working at most play parties I go to.

I can't believe this was considered work. I got to spend all of Friday night showing off on top of a 13 ft scaffolding set up specifically for me (well, for BGSC). I did two suspensions, one on Daddy and one on a good friend, Atticant. Since I haven't suspended him before, Atticant is included in my 100 new suspensions for 2012 goal. He was lucky number 7 :) The rest of the night was dedicated to dancing with Daddy and being really damn sweaty.

I think that my dragon, Moose--Yes, my dragon's name is Moose--did an incredible job with organizing B&B. The venue looked amazing -- way better than how it usually looks. The music selection? Incredible, a mixture of some actual decent dubstep, not just that wub-wub Skrillex bullshit, Minimal and amazing House. I'm a really sucker for dirty beat. And the turnout? Over 80 people. Impressive! The number just goes up from here!

The next B&B is already scheduled for March :) Can't wait to see what Moose and Co. come up with.

I didn't get to bed until 4 am, although I did get to sleep in the car-ride home, thanks to Daddy and Sir Ron C. not making me stay awake (although, I bet they couldn't unless they were torturing me...which would make for a fun, yet poorly thought out drive home). I woke up promptly around 9 am because as a robot my programming is set unless changed, which it isn't since I need to be up earlier for classes.

Daddy and I spent the day sleepily doing things in a haze: late breakfast, video games and rock climbing. I was able to complete two different V2s and a V3 in the bouldering cave. I began working on V4, but my hands couldn't take anymore, felt like my skin was on fire. I did get a good workout going and my forearms and obliques are nice and sore.

We had a nice dinner with kinky couple Kamm and indey (whose blog I've linked here before and will link again HERE, since it's awesome.) at a little run-down diner near where they live. The place is very underwhelming to the eye, but had deliciously terrible foods. Daddy let me eat a chili dog with french fries, which is way outside of my normal diet. I love being able to have regular dinners with kink-friendly or kinky people: the conversation is so much better, even if it's on vanilla topics. It's similar to how musicians end up hanging out with fellow musicians, even if whatever they're doing isn't music related.

After dinner, Daddy and I went up to another play party slash laser tag tournament held by Hedone. It was apparently a lock in where a couple hundred kinksters get locked into the laser tag place and allowed to do whatever they pleased. I really didn't do much since I was so beat from the night before. I played maybe one round out of the six I was supposed to. I -was- kind of blown that the teams were assigned by the role you assume in your relationship. I am technically Daddy's slave, but I don't identify as a slave or a submissive since I do Top regularly. and I don't identify as a switch because that implies that I can switch from Topping to bottoming, which I don't. I ended up being placed on sub team 2 and I believe they didn't win a single round, boooooooo!

I was able to get one suspension in that night, bringing my total for the 2012 goal to 8. This means I need to average at least 9 suspensions a month for the rest of the months this year in order to reach my goal. How hard could that be? Answer: probably pretty damn hard. The community here isn't huge so I inevitably run into the same people over and over, which is awesome because everyone here is great, but tough on the new suspensions thing.

Daddy and I are now brainstorming on how to suspend two people so that they can fuck each other. I feel like we're going to need more rope.

*Photo by JDaddy85.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Let's Talk About Etiquette

I posted this on Fetlife quite a while ago, but felt the need to re-post it in other places so that people who aren't on Fetlife can find it as well. I've edited this a bit and added some information that I've learned since originally posting this. Hope everyone finds it helpful!

I can't claim to be an expert on what is correct and incorrect play etiquette when it comes to the scene, but I feel like not enough people actually ever talk about it. Sure, most play parties have an established set of rules that everyone follows, but it I feel like play etiquette goes far beyond just being polite and the whole SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). There's just a lot of things people don't really know or talk about and, when you're new to the scene and public play, don't really dawn on you as something that could be potentially seen as rude or uncomfortable.

THE GOLDEN RULE: Don't be a douche bag. If you think that your behavior may come off as slightly jerk-baggy, it probably is.

GOLDEN RULE II: The house rules are always to be respected. If it's your first time going to a venue, ask someone what the rules are. Rules that apply to one place may not apply to others. (Example: Most venues in my community are sex positive, but I know that venues in Washington DC or NY aren't.) All venues have their rules written out somewhere and someone who has been there before will happily show them to you. Not following these rules is grounds for expulsion from the event, banning from the venue and you being labeled in the community as someone who doesn't play by the rules.

1. Talking to people while they are in the middle of a scene. Generally, if I'm watching a scene or I know people who are participating in a scene together, I don't try to talk to them until after they are done or if they approach me first. A lot of times, I don't want to break the energy the scene is building, the concentration of the Top or the subspace/headspace of the bottom. And really, is whatever you want to say to someone who's in the middle of a scene that important that it can't wait? I personally don't like it when someone comes up in the middle of a scene and starts talking to Daddy. We do a lot of suspension work and, as much as I trust him with my life, I need him to be paying full attention to the rigging and rope work to make sure I stay safe.

2. It's okay to say, 'no'. A lot of times, a lot of people are afraid to say no when it comes to public play; instead, they go into wishy-washy mode. If you don't want to play with someone, just say no. You don't have to be rude about it and it won't hurt the others feelings. In fact, stringing them along with a bunch of excuses and 'uhmmmms...." and "eeerrrrrrs..." is much worse.

When negotiating before a scene, don't just go along with anything if you aren't comfortable with something, As a bottom, you definitely have to be able to express what your limits are. If a Top can't respect your limits, maybe playing with them isn't the best idea. Tops also get a ridiculous amount of pressure as well. As a Top, you should be able to say, "No, I don't want to do this." The scene you're about to be in is also YOURS, you have the right to agree or disagree with anything during negotiations. If a bottom is making you feel pressured, you shouldn't feel like you have to play.

Side note: Unless otherwise pre-negotiated, saying 'no' in a scene does not necessarily constitute a safe word.

3. Respect the play space (Reiteration of Golden Rule II). You've been lucky enough to be invited to a lovely party, one of the best things you can do is respect the play space. It's super important to clean up after yourself. Condoms, training pads and plastics are meant to be used, so why not use them? Even if they are your own toys and your own body fluids, not everyone is so comfortable with them. Disinfecting an area after play takes less than a minute to do and everything is provided by the party: sweat, blood, tears and other fluids can be anywhere. Make sure all your used condoms and things that have touched bodily fluids make it to the trash can.

When I finish using a play space, I try to clean up quickly and receive my aftercare somewhere else. I know other people are waiting to use the same play space and I don't want to be the one holding up the use of it. On the other hand, I usually am a bit lost in subspace when cleaning up my messes, so please be understanding if I do NOT clean up fast enough for your liking. Asking me, "Can you hurry up?" is a million times more rude than, "Are you still using this area?"

Also important is respecting the intention of the space. Most play parties are designed to have play areas and social areas separate. A direct quotation from my good friend, CurtisMercury on FL: "Talking (loudly) with your friends seven feet from where a scene is going on is just so disrespectful. If your conversation is more important than what is going on there, please please please take it elsewhere. Respectful voyeurism is a wonderful thing. I wish people practiced it more. Vise versa, playing in a social space is also rude, IMO. Spankings have their time and place, ya know? Often, having a social area puts those who are new at ease in a potentially scary environment. You don't want to be the asshole that scares away that new person, do you? Its easy to get into what you want to do but think about others around you, especially in a vanilla environment. To the unassuming eye, what you are doing could very well look nonconsensual."

4. Asking for permission is always a good thing. Sometimes, being in a play party or with kink people in general, you feel a lot more welcome to do things you normally wouldn't do. That's a perfectly acceptable feeling, but don't think that everyone feels the same way. It's acceptable to want to hug every stranger in the room: it's not acceptable to do so without asking them if they are comfortable with it. If you ask someone if it's alright to touch them, even it's in a non-sexual manner, like a hug, they will feel so much more comfortable around you.

If you want to play with someone or scene with someone who came to the party with a date/their significant other/their play partner, why not ask both of them if it's okay to play, even if you only want to play with one person? It just seems polite to let everyone who is involved with each other what your intentions are.

5. Play parties are not dating services! This isn't the place to pick up a date or a fuck buddy or grab a live in 24/7 slave. If you come in with that kind of mind-set, I don't think you'll make it very far. It makes people feel very uncomfortable when you come to parties with that kind of intention and you'll be labeled a creeper really quickly.

I'm sure there are bunches of other things I could write about. If you want to add anything, please feel free to as a comment below :D

Friday, January 27, 2012

North Ave. Arts

Many a moon ago (so like...8 months ago), Daddy and I did a little photoshoot for Joe Giordano. He wanted to highlight different kinks, so obviously when he found a bunch of BGSCers running around in gas masks and rope, he immediately demanded to be able to shoot us. The concept was definitely interesting: shooting kink and fetish in something that WASN'T a dungeon (hey, that concept sound kind of familiar actually...) What he ended up with was something that looked a bit like a kinky year book photo.

These shots have apparently been on display for quite a few months now. We just got around to seeing them on Wednesday. It's a bit bizzare to see yourself blown up and posted in an art gallery. Even stranger were the prices: $1500 each, framed!

A friend took this weird, Inception-y photo of us looking at ourselves.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Palm Frond Rope

Incredibly itchy and sadistic as it goes on, amazingly erotic after it's placed on the body. Daddy and I played a little and now we're both ready to go to bed :)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Baltimore City Paper Article

The internet version of the article is already posted! Check it out here! I think the journalist did an incredibly great job :) He had so many opportunities to sensationalize this story, but he really stuck to facts and impartiality. Kudos, Baynard Woods, kudos!

Monday, January 23, 2012

BGSC photoshoot: BGSC on TANKS

So fun :D

Anal Proclivities

Daddy and I were driving home from Baltimore one night after having an interview with The City Paper for the article they plan on writing about the BGSC. It was a quiet ride home and Daddy had been extremely nice to me: he let me pick out dinner, he bought me ice cream, he wasn't making me choke and pass out on his cock on the ride home.

"Daddy..." I asked tentatively, "I would like to ask permission to be able to masturbate-" before I could finish the statement, he gave me the "Are you high?" look. It's been a longstanding rule in our relationship that I'm not allowed to masturbate unless given permission or if I run for a full hour.

"Wait! Let me finish! I want to be able to masturbate, but not be able to cum."

Silence. Awkward, awkward silence.

"I don't think you know what you're asking for, little girl." Daddy replied. He was probably right, I had no idea what I was asking for. More silence. I sat there, feeling rather foolish, and stared out my window.

"Alright, I've thought about it and for the rest of the week, you can masturbate."

I sat up straight and smiled. Yay, Daddy was being so nice! All I had to do was ask, how easy! Wait....too easy. I live my life based on pretty much one statement: everything is a trick.

"...Is this a trick?" I narrowed my eyes in mock judgment.

"Yes, of course it's a trick. Let me finish. You can only masturbate anally."

I'm a big fan of almost all things anal, so I didn't see a downside. Lamest trick ever, Daddy! Since the very beginning of our relationship, anal has been a big thing for me. I did some mental math and realized that 62% of the time Daddy and I are out in public, there's a anal plug in. I love my njoy :) and if I'm not wearing on? There's anyways one in my bag, just in case.

Daddy, however, is a cruel and unusual man. So since the day he's given me permission to masturbate anally, all we have had is anal sex. A lot of rough, anal sex. and if not anal sex, anal hooks when we play. or anal plugs. Everything butt.

In case you were wondering, when someone cums in your butt and shoves an anal plug in afterwards, the effect is somewhat akin to an enema. A cum enema. I've had it done to me several times in the past week.

My butt is ridiculously sore at the moment, so much so that I haven't masturbated at all. I told you, everything is a trick.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

BGSC in the snow

The great city of Baltimore has finally decided to give The Baltimore Guerrilla Suspension Crew their 15 minutes in the sun by writing an article about us for The City Paper. It's going in the Valentine's Day issue. I didn't really understand the connection between artistic urban guerrilla style suspension and Valentine's Day in terms of Narwhal-dom, but after learning that the story is actually about kinky love, how could we say no? Hopefully BDSM and kink get a shown in a positive light via this article. I mean, what could be more positive than a bunch of beautiful people hanging around naked/in underwear?

F0r those of you who don't know what the BGSC is, let me give you a quick overview. The Baltimore Guerrilla Suspension Crew is something that Daddy and I cooked up a little less than a year ago when we first began to learn rope suspension. Suspension to us isn't really about play; it's more of a performance. It's an art and art meant to be seen by everyone. So we started to do things in public that we believed could show the average Narwhal that BDSM isn't so scary; it can be quite beautiful in it's own right. We also wanted to showcase the unusual beauty we found in Charm City. The project really started to gain popularity and before we knew it, we had a small following in our area and tons of people wanting to be riggers or rope bottoms for our photoshoots. It was, and is, pretty exciting. I've gotten a tumblr up and started that we post our pictures, bios and other things of interest. You should check it out and stroke our egos a bit.

We originally planned to do said photoshoot off of the cannon in Federal Hill, an homage to the original shoot we did there when we were scrubs that lacked any real photographers. The photos we have from the summer '11 shoot are all cell phone shots: grainy and rough. We really wanted to go back and put that Ham Sandwich, our photographer, shine on it. He's really taken our project to the next level. The cannon would have been perfect: it overlooks the Inner Harbor. It really proves that what we do is out there, in the public eye.

The major problem we ran into was that last minute, mother nature decided to give us the middle finger and snow. Federal Hill is quite steep and I remember that the first time we did a shoot their we ran into some dangerous issues that we absolutely could not address if there was snow and ice everywhere, so we ended up scraping this location for another time. Instead, we chose a merry-go-round outside of the Maryland Science Center. This also overlooks the Inner Harbor and gives that quintessential Baltimore view of the harbor's dingy sky and water.

We brought a bunch of newbies with us, N and J, a rigger and rope bottom, respectively. We also brought my girl-crush, Misha, along as well. She's never done a guerrilla shoot before and had always wanted to come out. I always feel like I stare at her and never make any advances when it comes to getting to know her more intimately. Girl-bot fail.

We kept the suspensions simple, just inversions, and dirty quick. Nothing feels better than kicking it old school with the guerrilla hits that last a grand total of 15 minutes or so. Normally, I usually feel pretty prepared for guerrilla shoots, but the cold weather really threw me for a loop. Luckily, N and J are from cold weather and knew exactly what to bring to make sure we didn't freeze our cute little bodies to bits. The suspensions themselves weren't bad at all, probably the most comfortable to date.

I do believe that Ham Sandwich and The City Paper's photographer got in some really excellent shots :) I saw the raw images from Hammie and I just know they'll be fantastic. I just need to grab model release forms for N and J (aka the 'please don't sue me' paperwork) before I can post their images.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Non-Monogamy and my Non-Date

One thing I absolutely love about the BDSM community is that non-monogamy is not a foreign concept. I'm definitely not a swinger: the idea of having sex with multiple people for the sake of having sex doesn't appeal to me. I require a level of intimacy and caring with someone I ultimately decide to sleep with. I also don't believe I'm quite polyamorous. One of my friends, let's call zir Felis, called themselves 'polyamorish', a state of being mostly polyamorous. I considered this, but ultimately went with Celeste's, another good friend, 'monogamish', a state of mostly monogamy.

So what does this mean? Good question.

I'm in a very committed, loving relationship with Moco, whom I refer to as Daddy. We live a 24/7 lifestyle in which there is a clear D/s dynamic that has elements of a Daddy/girl dynamic. It's not traditional, definitely not old guard, but it's something we both feel comfortable in since it flows seamlessly in our lives. The average Narwhal (aka vanilla person) would have no idea.

I don't go out looking for other relationships, so, for the most part and I really don't have any intention to randomly date around. I love Daddy with my whole heart and can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love him. and I definitely wouldn't have a D/s dynamic with anyone else.

That being said, I had always been curious about non-monogamy, but growing up was told that proper relationships were always monogamous. "They don't love you/You don't really love that person," "When the right person comes along..." and "One person should be more than enough if you love them." were things I heard a lot of and never really understood. I can love a million different ways, why can't I love and foster relationships with a million different people if I so choose?

Daddy and I talk about it quite often and agreed that the best thing would be to take it slow. If I am interested in someone, genuinely interested, I could go out on dates to see if we hit it off. As long as I communicate everything with Daddy, he'll be happy. He loves me so much and is so infinitely patient. How did I get so lucky?

The problem is that years upon years of being taught that monogamy is right and everything else is wrong has made me really shy when it comes to pursuing other potential romances. So that brings me to last night's non-date on my biggest female crush to date: Daria.

This is going to sound awful, but what first attracted me to her was the non-crazy chick vibe she puts out. I've met a lot of women in the past year that I thought were beautiful, but had a bit of madness brimming behind their eyes (crazy eye syndrome is not one to be taken lightly!) so I tend to stay away. Other women in the scene have become really good friends, like indey, who happens to blog here. But no, Daria is a beautiful, intelligent, funny and genuine woman whom I absolutely adore and I was much too chicken to tell her. My fear, though, never stopped me from telling everyone else.

For a week, I had planned to have dinner with Daria. It originally started off as just a transaction; Daddy makes jute rope for Japanese-inspired bondage (aka kinbaku) and one of Daria's play partners wanted to purchase some and sent her on a mission. We decided that dinner and rope exchange would be a good idea since I would be in DC on Tuesday, kicking around museums and having lunch with my doppelganger, Bella. Just a dinner with a friend.

I told Daddy about it and that he would need to find something to do while she and I had dinner together and he jokingly said, "Damn, you're pretty pushy when you're about to go on a date." I paused in place. No, this wasn't an date, I insisted...was it? Dinner with a friend. Dinner with my crush. It's a date! No, I must be crazy, it's not a date.

For a little under a week, I fretted on whether it was a date or not. I realize that I haven't been so nervous to have dinner with someone in a long time. What should I wear? Should I pay? Should I bring her flowers? Am I ultra lame? Sadly, the only question I knew the answer to was yes: I'm as derpy as it gets.

Daria sent me a text early Tuesday asking about Daddy and her significant other, T. Double date! Which also meant it wasn't a date for her and me. A little relieved and a little disappointed, I ran around with Daddy in DC, going to museums and ice skating. When we showed up, Daria was by herself. She said T was still at work and wouldn't be able to make it.

We had a wonderful dinner with Daria. She was definitely a joy to be around. She looked particularly cute that evening, the way she styled her hair, her make-up, her super cute glasses. I probably spent most of dinner just being stupidly quiet and looking at her. and I'm sure Daddy noticed because he decided to make an announcement.

"Naga didn't know whether this was a date. She has a huge crush on you. She talks about you all the time. You should have seen her this past weekend. 'It's not a date! It's not a date!' It was kind of cute. "

Daddy has the best of intentions, but has quite the penchant to embarrass me in front of people I tend to have crushes on (he's done it to another gentleman, The Hammer, whom I have made the center of many a older man/younger girl fantasies), but later confided in me that if he didn't believe the other party was interested, he wouldn't have said anything. He's excellent at watching people, but even I don't know how true that is. I'm not so sure why I'm not confident when it comes to relationships, but I am.

Later that night, Daria tweeted this: Headed home from a lovely dinner non-date with @wtflily and Moco. Next time, it'll be a date ;)

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Chair Treatment

Yesterday, my Daddy and I ended up going to Mr. Sean's place, affectionately referred to as Pork Island since Sean tends to do the best barbecue I've had in the area, for a small get together. Mr. Sean has one of the best homes I've ever seen: quaint upstairs full of delicious foods and a cute bassett hound (I'm a sucker for hounds) and one of the most amazing basement/dungeons I've seen to date. The pure amount of toys and play space is incredibly, but to top it all off, Mr. Sean has some incredible furniture. One of our particular favorites is "The Chair", which has a very insex feel to it. It's crafted in order to tie someone down to it, spread legged, and torture them at your leisure.

So of course, we have to play with it. A lot of people who were there got to watch a pretty intense scene that had absolutely no impact :) I don't know about most people, but I find it incredibly sexy that Daddy can make me cry without needing to hurt me physically. There is something so powerful about knowing you get into someone's head with just words.

Vanillas, please don't fret, this was done with consent. I consented to everything that was done and I knew what the risks are when we play. And no, I've never been abused as a child. No, I don't think I'm worthless. I know it's hard grasp, but please...take my word for it.

Pictures that sum up my blog