Love Songs

"Love Songs" Performed by M0co and Beemo from BeemoBot! on Vimeo.

Again, sometimes I forget how lucky I am.  In six short years, I've had the chance to share the stage with world class riggers and rope bottoms and last May was no exception.  Opening for Hajime Kinoko and Ika-chan was really one of the highest moments for Moco and myself.  Kinoko-san may be one of the biggest influences when it comes to Moco's rope style, even if it's not really evident.  We spent the earliest years of our relationship watching low-res videos of his Cyber Rope performances, pausing and replaying various transitions in hopes to unraveling some of the magic that is Kinoko's stage presence.

This performance was a bit different for us: everyone's used to the very show-boat-y, larger than life attitude that Moco and I bring.  I think it may have caught a couple people off guard, but I think this may be one of our most beautiful shows to date.  In the very least, it felt to be the most intimate and, for me, that's what rope is really about.

Many thanks to Rigger Jay for recording and editing this performance for us.

Processing. Trust. Idiocy.

"So, I wanna try something dumb, but I wanna try this dumb thing on someone I trust to tell me if it's too dumb."

It's not a sentence most people hear often, but I feel like it's a fairly regular exchange I have with Meymoon (aka Tegoiss), a seemingly overnight rope top sensation from the DMV.  I've been lucky to watch his exponential growth in rope in his short time being in public kink.  His dedication to bondage is something to behold.

His dedication to making sure I remember he's a sadist on every possible level is also something to behold.  Beyond just bondage, he mostly taunts me with food and idea of not sharing it with me.   A foodist, if you will.  Anything from keeping pizza and matcha kit-kats away from me to telling me how much he hates avocado, nothing is too sacred in my life for him to try to use against me.  But he's also been a great sounding board, someone I can text sporadically throughout the day to ask questions about quesadillas, or check in when I'm feeling the inevitable drop from playing too hard.

Rope, kink- it's a trust game.  For me, it's probably one of the hardest parts of kink.  It's hard for me to develop that level of trust for most people, which is why the pool of people for whom I'll bottom for is pretty much still in the single digits, despite being a million kink years old.  I have to really trust someone beyond a normal amount of trust if they're planning on stringing me up and tossing me around.

I'm not really sure what caused the little switch in my brain to flip from "don't trust" to "trust", but it's been that way for a while and I couldn't be happier with my friendship and play with Meymoon.

and if I can trust someone to taunt me with food, I can trust them unequivocally. So, when approached with the idea of trusting in something dumb, I was all for it.

Sometimes, I have the strangest FOMO (fear of missing out) because while we labbed/played, I remember thinking "Man, I am so envious I can't see what's happening, I really want to learn."  I couldn't really tell you what happened, but it hurt. In the best way possible.  I flipped through some of the images and still don't really understand what I'm looking at.

I got some pretty neat shots and I edited them poorly.  Because not a photographer or editor.

Three-....Oh. (and MBE Baltimore Pictures because we all love pictures)

In 6 days from now, I turn 30.

Think on that, 3 decades of being alive.  Well, 'alive.' I've wasted plenty of years being alive without actually living.  Addictions are like that, but that's a story for some other time.

30.

When I first got into bondage, rope bottoming was pretty much a young girl's' game.  I remember the looks I got when I told people I was 25- the somewhat saddened pity.  The "Ah, you're a late-comer, that's so sad," nod of 'understanding', knowing that, in a few years, I would be obsolete and that Moco would likely trade me in for someone youthful, someone more meant to be bottoming.  Piled on top of that were a plethora of no good feels: I'm not the thinnest, or most in shape, or most beautiful.  My elbows didn't touch.  I was a tragic mess of a rope bottom who only had a shelf-life of 4-5 years tops.

I remember thinking, "If only I could stay 25 forever!  People will want me in their ropes!  Turning 30 is going to be the tragic end of my rope bottoming career and I've only just started!"

Times, they are a-changing.

Granted, rope bottoming is still (mostly) a young girl's game, but I've seen it grow and expand.  There's a fair mix of all genders bottoming in rope. and of all ages.  and I'm not obsolete.  Far from it.

I'm still not the thinnest (not that I care to be), the fittest, the more flexible (my elbows still don't touch), but I'm also not the oldest rope bottom.  Which is fucking cool.  Knowing that I can age gracefully, suffer-faced, and body contorted, is a warming thought.

Besides, I think I'm making 30 look pretty damn good.  Check out these awesome pictures from Morpheous' Bondage Extravaganza.  Thanks to the awesome photographers Twisted View, Dom with Lens, and iambic9 for the amazing images!

Opening for Nawashi Kanna and Kagu Ra. Plus Travel dates!

A few months ago, Moco and I had the honor and privilege to be the opening performance for Nawashi Kanna and Kagu-Ra.  TheHammer was kind enough to record and edit it for us.  Here's the video.  Comments and suggestions are always appreciated!



M0co and Beemo from Hammer N Roxy on Vimeo.

Moco and I will be traveling quite a bit in the next few weeks.  We're super excited about it (and possibly ridiculously nervous).  Please come check us out!

Aug 28-30 MI (SINergy)
Sept 3-10 SF, CA (3 Day Moco and Beemo rope intensive)
Sept 11-14 Portland, OR (3 Day Moco and Beemo rope intensive)

Oct 10-11 Dallas, TX (BED Launch Party)

MBE Bmore 2015!

I guess I should have kept it a secret by not writing it in the title, but guess what, guys?

MBE is featuring Baltimore as a satellite city this year!  Charm City is going to be hosting a night of amazing bondage art and we absolutely cannot wait.

I mean, is it really a surprise that B-more was chosen?  The DMV really is Rope Mecca: the ropey-est place in all of the rope world.  I'm happy we'll finally be able to showcase some of the amazing, blossoming talent our area has to offer.

Since Bmore is only a stone's throw away from NYC, Philly, NJ, and the Carolinas, I suspect we'll get in tons of apps up and down the east coast.  We're really looking forward it!

#MBEBmore2015 will be hosted on September 19th, which means people attending this event can still apply to the other satellite locations, including the live event in Toronto!  

So let's get those applications in and show everyone the amazing fucking talent we have to offer!

MBE FUCK YEAH.

The Perfect Suffer

I've never been good at 'faking it', the 'it' being subjective to whatever situation I happen find myself.  I was never big on faking orgasms, I'm often horribly blunt about how I feel about a person much to the chagrin of M0co, my parents, AND my therapist, I don't like playing weird games.  If I'm up during a manic episode, you'll know it.  If I'm trapped in crippling depression, you'll also probably notice it (although in those cases, I do try to fake it until I make it.)

So why should my suffering during play be any different?

Last weekend, M0co and I headed up to Philly again to celebrate the birthday of a friend of ours.  It was a small, quiet little get together, with only one or two familiar faces.  Most of the people there were new to me.  It's kind of fantastic to be able to escape to a place where you aren't forced to work, and yes, almost all play parties have turned into work since M0co LLC'd.  Just a few friends and a few more strangers.

It wasn't an actual play party, but there was a hard point set up, so we decided to take advantage of a rare opportunity to actually play and not feel like we were performing.  So M0co did what he does best: he makes me suffer for him.  It wasn't showy or perfectly executed, but that's how we like it.  We shared a moment of honesty and intimacy, connecting with rope and each other.

Strangely, I get a lot of compliments on my suffering, like I'm doing an exceptional job at being distressed and hurt.  I joke about my 'suffer face' and say something along the lines of, "Thanks! I made it myself!" or I just redirect the compliments somewhere else.  It's always uncomfortable to me when people are praising me for something I'm not intentionally working on.  Or maybe I just really suck at accepting praise, blame my very Asian upbringing where doing exceptionally well is doing your job.

Sometime during all the celebration and complements that night, it finally occurred to me that people can tell when you're faking it in a scene, regardless of how amazing the acting may be.  The over exaggerated sigh, the too perfectly time wince- it's amazing how these things can turn a beautiful playtime into something grotesque.  but it happens all the time.  I blame photography. 100%.

Because how can anyone truly know you're suffering without the absolute perfect image of you pouting, lips curled just so, with your eyes shining with the threat of tears? People are constantly striving for The Perfect Suffer,that they forget to actually...you know, suffer.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love photos.  I enjoy setting up photo shoots and I even don't hate photos of myself when taken during play.  I think the problem lies in everyone thinking they NEED to have The Perfect Suffer.  Whether it's to prove their Domliness (hey, everyone does it), or their submissiveliness, everyone's always chasing this perfect image around.  The problem is, in trying to re-create and force The Perfect Suffer, you just get...ashes.

The Perfect Suffer has nothing to do with how your hair falls in a certain way, or the obvious strain in your body.  I think The Perfect Suffer is when you are the most honest with yourself and you let yourself be lost in the moment.

DomWithLens, possibly one of the most talented photographers I know, is a big fan of catching 'moments' as opposed to taking photos from a shoot, and sent me a couple of incredible images.  I'm always excited to see what he's captured and so far, he hasn't let me down.

Photography by DomWithLens
Rope is M0coJute

Pre-Fusion

It's about that time again, folks.

Tomorrow starts my weekend mini-vacation and it's taking place at Ramblewood--or as many other kinksters lovingly refer to it as, home.  It's time for Dark Odyssey's Fusion, a crazy week-long kinky camping event full of education, play, and all around craziness.

M0co and I are decidedly not 'outdoorsy', so we are going to get a hotel :D so yay for vacations!

Somehow we managed to trick everyone into thinking letting us teach is a great idea, so we'll be doing four different classes:

1. Making Natural Fiber Jute Rope: this class is mostly M0co teaching and me standing there and making sure no one accidentally sets themselves on fire
2. Basic chest harnesses: Hopefully we can squeeze in a hands-free harness, 2 rope TK, and if there's time, 3 rope TK
3. A Dynamic hip harness: Formerly known as The Kinoko-ish Hip harness, we ended up changing the name because it's actually nothing like Kinoko-san's hip harness.  We're thinking about calling it 'the best damn hip harness EVER'
4. Fluid Strappado for limited mobility- the limited mobility refers to rope bottoms with limited upper body flexibility.

I'm really excited about teaching the last class.  It's something that really hits home for me and I think the fact I connect so deeply with this class makes for better learning :)

I plan on doing quite a bit of yoga and working out while at camp, especially early in the mornings.  I'm not sure if I'm entering a manic phase, but I have been waking up fairly early and getting to work earlier and earlier than I had been.  I just know I'll be awake at 7 am, and I really don't want to bother M0co.  He's going to need his sleep between all the classes, sex, and play.

Time to finish up packing and get some shut eye :)

Here's a photo from a photoshoot I did recently with M0co.  It turned out super pretty :)

Dirty Things August

Not much to say about Dirty Things; here are some photos that will probably be deleted because blogspot hates me:

Today is officially my Friday; M0co and I go on vacation this weekend!