This blog contains, but isn't limited to, graphic sexual horror, BDSM, sex, robots, science, food, rock climbing, bouldering, politics and general bric-a-brac. Not suitable for children under 18. Honestly, probably not suitable for most humans.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

MBE 2014, the extravaganza that almost wasn't (but then was, so it was cool in the end)

To be fair, MBE was never NOT going to be a thing-- Morpheous' Bondage Extravaganza has been an ongoing yearly event that seems pretty unstoppable.

The 'almost wasn't' part was more about my attendance to said event.  The last few months for M0co and myself have been truly crazy- a lot of traveling, working mega overtime, and always, ALWAYS an almost negative bank account.  Money was really tough for us, and MBE almost wasn't in the books for us.  Well, at least not both of us.  Since rope is M0co's life, traveling to MBE was more of a business calling than pleasure, so it made sense that he should at least be able to go and represent.  Would have been mighty awkward if the official rope of MBE couldn't make it.

So, since I was under the impression I wasn't going to make it, I convinced a friend of mine to run a 5K with me that Saturday.  Admission was super cheap and I figured it would keep me occupied while M0co was away.  So I had a plan.  A non-MBE plan.

Fast forward, I ended up actually being able to go to Florida and finding last minute tickets that same Saturday.  So, like all normal insomniacs who hate to let people down, I decided to do it all.  Run the 5K, get on a plane, tie and get tied for 12 hours, fly back home and work on Monday.

Did I mention the 5K was a color run?  You know, the kind of 5K where they throw all the colorful corn starch at you?

So, I was slightly rainbow colored when I arrived to The Woodshed, but only slightly.

Anyways, I survived another MBE, but as a rigger!  I wish I had some photos of the ties I did and of the awesome bottoms I got to use, but I haven't received them yet. I did get quite a few shots of M0co tying me, which is just as nice :)

Photos by Coner
Look at how fancy M0co looks!  I'm one lucky little slave :)

Saturday, September 6, 2014

'What are you? A Weekday Monogamist?'

As anyone who bothers to read my blog could tell you, I fight with myself a lot on the whole monogamy/polyamory thing.  I'm constantly flip flopping on whether I am poly or not.  A lot of my monogamy comes from society and my own insecurities ("If he can date ANYONE, he's going to leave me for someone better.")  Not to mention that my emotional development was heavily impeded by years of not getting therapy and drug use.

My confusion only got worse when M0co decided to become somewhat famous.  Not only is he handsome, funny, and a genuinely nice human being, he's now also got the hashtag #ropemakinggenuis attached to him.  Unfortunately, that does bring around about half a dozen girls every week that want to play with him. or more. 

Jealousy.  Loneliness. Abandonment.  Those are just some of the unlovely feelings and thoughts that ran through my underdeveloped, child-like brain. and maybe the worst feelings I had of all were guilt and sheer disappointment in myself. 

How was it okay for me to want to be with other people, possibly love them, but suddenly it wasn't okay for M0co to do so?  Why was I so convinced he'd find someone better and leave me?  Why wasn't he afraid I would do the same?

So, for a while, it was a rough ride.  I'd break up with M0co after every major rope event. I'd either be angry or sad, or both.  Smiling was increasingly difficult.  I started hating any person (not even just the women that M0co is attracted to) that would treat M0co like a king and push me off to the side.  It finally got to a breaking point before M0co did what any man does for someone he loves, he got me help.

After months of therapy, I sometimes even wonder if I'm making progress answering the question on whether I'm poly or not.  A friend of mine lovingly refers to me as a 'weekday monogamist' -someone who is probably monogamous during most of their week, but has relationships on the weekends.  It's not...untrue.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

July Recap aka I'm lazy, so here's a short post and photo

The last few weeks have been crazy for M0co and myself.  We've been out of town almost every weekend, doing some rope related.  It's kind of wild how much my life has changed since joining the kink community.  I went from doing absolutely nothing on the weekends to traveling all over the US, sharing something I'm truly passionate about.

In the beginning of July, M0co and I headed out to Cincinnati to teach our first weekend long intensive.  I had a bit of anxiety- but because of teaching, but because M0co had....SHINGLES. He was incredibly sick, in tons of pain, and totally still able to teach.  He's an amazing man.  

The kind folks at Cinci were amazing- they were completely teachable (!), and so eager to learn.  I'm hoping they were able to get some useful info out of the intensive, whether it was an actual skill or just a concept.  Or maybe a renewed love of rope bondage.

M0co and I also got to spend some time up with Mataleao and WickedBlueGlow in NJ while we were teaching at The Floating World.  The event itself was pretty lackluster for me (I have the worst anxiety at cons sometimes), but I thoroughly enjoyed spending some quality time with great people.  ML and WBG are definitely stand up people and I couldn't explain what great hosts they were.  I did complain a lot (hey, it's in my nature), but Mataleao was totally cool with it, and rolled with the punches.  I really appreciated his off the cuff sense of humor and his biting wit.  Always a good time.

Instead of having a relaxing weekend, M0co decided to call up Robert Neroni (SiRoberto on FL) and set up a photoshoot.  We've worked with Robert in the past and the results were absolutely stunning.  He's one of the most talented photographers I've met and M0co had a very specific reason for wanting to use him.  For the past year, M0co has wanted to get a full back piece tattoo done and he decided that he wanted it to be an image of me tied up.  He toyed with a million different concepts and themes before he finally had the perfect vision.

In the end, M0co wanted to have a Japanese inspired/influenced tattoo, so he had me bring several kimono.  Robert helped with the aesthetics and ended up doing a very simple partial suspension.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but this was the result:

Ropework: M0co
Photographer: Robert Neroni
Rope: M0co Jute

Robert and M0co make beautiful collaborations, don't they?  It feels weird to say that about myself, but I do love this image.  I don't consider myself a model or even beautiful in that conventional ideal of beauty, but this photo is incredible to me.  I think between watching actual models that M0co shoots with and all of those episodes of America's Next Top Model, I was able to pull myself together well enough to get a great shot.

I can't wait to see how this translates into a tattoo.  M0co's first session is on Monday with tattoo artist Larry Hardesty of Black Lotus Tattoo.  Check out his work here.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


It's about that time again, folks.

Tomorrow starts my weekend mini-vacation and it's taking place at Ramblewood--or as many other kinksters lovingly refer to it as, home.  It's time for Dark Odyssey's Fusion, a crazy week-long kinky camping event full of education, play, and all around craziness.

M0co and I are decidedly not 'outdoorsy', so we are going to get a hotel :D so yay for vacations!

Somehow we managed to trick everyone into thinking letting us teach is a great idea, so we'll be doing four different classes:

  1. Making Natural Fiber Jute Rope: this class is mostly M0co teaching and me standing there and making sure no one accidentally sets themselves on fire
  2. Basic chest harnesses: Hopefully we can squeeze in a hands-free harness, 2 rope TK, and if there's time, 3 rope TK
  3. A Dynamic hip harness: Formerly known as The Kinoko-ish Hip harness, we ended up changing the name because it's actually nothing like Kinoko-san's hip harness.  We're thinking about calling it 'the best damn hip harness EVER'
  4. Fluid Strappado for limited mobility- the limited mobility refers to rope bottoms with limited upper body flexibility.
I'm really excited about teaching the last class.  It's something that really hits home for me and I think the fact I connect so deeply with this class makes for better learning :)

I plan on doing quite a bit of yoga and working out while at camp, especially early in the mornings.  I'm not sure if I'm entering a manic phase, but I have been waking up fairly early and getting to work earlier and earlier than I had been.  I just know I'll be awake at 7 am, and I really don't want to bother M0co.  He's going to need his sleep between all the classes, sex, and play.

Time to finish up packing and get some shut eye :)

Here's a photo from a photoshoot I did recently with M0co.  It turned out super pretty :)

Thursday, May 29, 2014

December to May recap, Bondage Expo Dallas and...the future!

I know I've been pretty negligent (sidebar- does this word look strange to anyone else?) when it comes to this blog :( Life has gotten crazy, both professionally and socially.  and also, laziness plays a large part.

Work has been going through many, changes, some terrible, but most great.  Ideally, I'm up for a promotion and department change in the not too distant future.  Totally tooting my own horn here, but I deserve it.  I put in countless (and mostly thankless) hours with useless supervisors to help my team do well.  It's nice that our newest director of our department has noticed it.

As part of this newfound adultiness I've discovered, M0co and I have been preparing a house!  We're more or less pre-approved and now are just taking our time to find the perfect place.  Y'know, 2-3 bedrooms, 2+ bathrooms, a backyard for the pups, and a basement we can turn into a badass rope dojo/place space.  The essentials.

Since December, the kink life has been bananas.   We've been able to travel and present all over the east coast, which is kind of wild considering where we were 2 years ago.  Winterfire came and went smoothly.  It's always a great event :)  I'm really looking forward to Fusion, which is in a few weeks(!)

The highlight of the year so far, unexpectedly, was Bondage Expo Dallas.  This is going to sound so strange, but I'm not typically a fan of all bondage events.  Chalk it up to my introvertedness.  It's hard enough for me at regular events because M0co is more or less a celebrity, but in rope-centric events, he's somewhat of a demi god.  I mean, he figuratively births the ropes most people use at these things.  It's easy for him to get caught up in the attention and hype.  Not to mention that I tend to go into complete shut down mode and have an enormous mental breakdown after these events.  I usually end up breaking up with M0co, crying for three days, and rebooting.

Needless to say. I was...apprehensive.

BED was much smaller than I was expecting, which was great.  and the quality of people and education was amazing.  I had such an amazing time, I had completely forgotten I was nervous.  Dallas Kink and his crew put together a terrific event, I highly recommend it to rope-lovers.

Here are some photos from the last night at BED, taken by Dov.  M0co loves these because he thinks he looks like he's in great shape :P  Also, if you look in the background, you'll see tons of jute twine.  M0co totally did a Scrouge McDuck and rolled around on it.  I hope DK doesn't get mad >.>