This blog contains, but isn't limited to, graphic sexual horror, BDSM, sex, robots, science, food, rock climbing, bouldering, politics and general bric-a-brac. Not suitable for children under 18. Honestly, probably not suitable for most humans.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

If I'm Playing, it Probably Ain't Pretty

I think a lot of people get lost in the glitzy, glossed over versions of BDSM they find on tumblr or blogspot.  You know the pictures I'm talking about; the (usually) black and white photos of two lovers in which not a drop of sweat is spilled, not a hair out of place and all the bondage is amazingly precise and symmetrical.  The bottom in the photo usually is hamming up the pain and/or pleasure while the Top takes an extra Dom-ly stance, hand around the throat or tugging on a strategically placed rope.

In other words, utterly boring.

Don't get me wrong, I can get into the artsy BDSM photos; in fact, I've probably taken a couple in my relatively short lifespan (Remember The Awakening? Yeah, check out that artsy color selection).  So have many of my photographer and/or rigger friends -tt's just something that happens.  Mostly because it seems to be what's most popular- "pretty" pictures of "pretty" girls and "pretty boys" doing "pretty" BDSM.  I put quotes around "pretty" since it's not really what I consider attractive, but what the standard idea of attractive is. (Give me my short-haired girls who eschew typical gender roles, please!)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with those pictures, either.  They have artistic merit and are beautiful and show the world that BDSM can be just has glamorous as anything else in print.  At the same time...there's absolutely everything wrong with these pictures.  It gives the false impression of what play should look like.

To me, playing, much like sex, isn't about organization, lighting and being "pretty".  It's about enjoyment, pleasure, pain and a litany of other words that don't include "photoshopped", "edited", "color-corrected", "posed", or "modeled".

My play, for example, tends to have messy rope.  Not to the point in which it becomes ridiculous and dangerous, but it shows a sense of urgency or intensity, like we couldn't be bothered to straighten up everything and make it perfect, we were too into each other to think about things like that.

Almost always, any play that manages to get photographed (we usually get too caught up to take pictures of play, just the aftermath), tends to be on a shitty cell phone, blurry and something that makes Hamsandwich want to claw his eyes out viewing due to the lack of any photographing ability ever.  These photos are never edited because it takes a certain something away from it.

A lot of play with Daddy involves tears, sweat and an actual suffering that the average narwhal wouldn't feel comfortable looking at.  It ain't pretty and at the same time it's the most beautiful thing ever.

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