[Triggers warning: Feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough]
For the longest time I used get down on myself because I wasn’t flexible to make my elbows touch and since they couldn’t do that, I couldn’t possibly be a good rope bottom. I know dozens of rope bottoms who can’t do suspensions or can’t be in a TK. It makes you feel broken when those are the standards for being a good rope bottom and there’s almost nothing worse than feeling like a broken, untalented rope bottom. It got to the point where I didn’t want to be tied up because I was worried M0co (or any Top) would put me in strappado and watch me fail instantly, realize what I already knew (that I am the worst rope bottom EVER!) and no longer want to play with me.
It look several months (maybe even years) for me to understand that being able to do a certain tie doesn’t you a good or bad rope bottom; it just means you are capable of doing a specific tie. Being small/thin doesn’t make you a good rope bottom; it just means you are small/thin. Being a specific gender doesn’t make you a good rope bottom; it just means you are you.
So what does it mean to be a good rope bottom? It means possessing skills like communication, endurance, and knowing your own body and health. It means being willing to put in the work to become better. So, with the help of my awesome rope community, I want to start a series of blogs about these skills, including helpful tips, hints, and ideas that may help a rope bottom better themselves.
Now, these are just some ideas that have worked for rope bottoms in our community. In no way am I saying that these are the ONLY skills or that these are tips you MUST follow. Everybody’s different and things that may work for one may not work for others. Please do not take anything written here as gospel. One of the biggest themes you’ll see in these writings is that YMMV (Your mileage may vary). Rope bottoming is a very personal thing and you should tailor your bottoming in a way that makes you happy and, of course, keeps you safe!
That being said, I hope that the writings will be helpful to those out there interested in looking for helpful tidbits.
and please remember: you aren’t broken and you aren’t a bad rope bottom. You’re fabulous :)