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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

An Eye-opener: MBE Orlando

I have a lot of love/hate for performances, particularly if I'm involved in said performance.  So when we got invited to Morpheous' Bondage Extravaganza in Orlando, I had heavy reservations.  Being able to play in rope at a play party is one thing, but performing in front of people, in front of cameras, for all of the free internet to see?  I was definitely scared.  Not a little nervous, not a couple of butterflies, but full-out "I hope I don't vomit in front of everyone in The Woodshed" fears.

So why do that to myself?

M0co is an amazing rigger- everything he's learned in such a short time, but not everyone knows how skilled he is because he can't travel.  He's not a big name presenter yet.  So MBE seemed like an excellent opportunity for him to show the world what he can do.  Plus, it was a nice chance to meet other riggers and rope bottoms in the US.

Sometimes I feel like I fall short of someone as skilled as M0co is.  I don't know where or why these fears are there, or if they are fears that all rope bottoms have from time to time.  but I worry that, on stage with cameras rolling, will be the time I fail to live up to what he needs from a bottom.  and then to have to do it multiple times in a night?  I was prepared for the worst of the worst- that I wouldn't make it.  That I would have to throw in the towel and M0co wouldn't be able to get his name out there.

MBE came and went.  and I survived.

A particularly stressful hogtie by M0co

Actually, I did much more than survive.  I was able to do the three time slots we were assigned, plus two extras, one with M0co and one with Murphy Blue.  As strange as it feels to toot my own horn, I did pretty damn well. I was able to be that flexible stunt bottom that can take a crazy amount of stress and strain.  M0co even praised me at the end of the night ("You're a gangster, baby!")

I never considered myself a good bottom before, not that I thought of myself as bad.  I just...was.  When people complimented me in the past, I always just brushed it off as people being polite or I try to guide the praise towards M0co since he's doing the tying.  I never felt qualified to teach someone about bottoming and, to a certain extent, I still don't, but I do have a better understanding about what I'm capable of.  I can't wait to see how I progress in the future and I know I can only get better.

I can't wait to see how M0co and I grow :)

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