Policy Reversal, FIRE II: Rope Boogaloo

I'm really impressed at the recent turn of events with blogger/blogspot.  I just heard that they are planning on keeping their old policy towards adult blogs :) Excellent.  That means I will be continuing to blog here.  Well, 'continuing to blog' is used rather loosely here, though. 

M0co and I were lucky enough to spend a week in beautiful, sunny Orlando, Florida recently.  We had gone down to be part of Florida's Intense Rope Experience, or FIRE.  This was their second year, and they went all out with their list of presenters.  We were able to spend time with some world class riggers and bottoms, learning and sharing our brains and hearts.  It was...well...intense. 

It was a bit of a battle heading to Orlando.  Maryland weather didn't want to cooperate the Wednesday and Thursday before our flight, with caused such a back up, we ended up missing our original flight.  We were in the airport for nearly 12 hours before we were able to re-book a connecting flight to Indianapolis then head to Orlando.  M0co and I actually ended up missing two of the classes we were supposed to teach, but FredRx and Gorgone (!) were gracious enough to cover our time slots and asses.

Saturday night, we did a performance.  An ACTUAL performance, one in which we planned music and the like.  We've never actually put much thought in performances before- M0co considers himself a 'jazz' rigger- he makes it up as he goes, it's all based on how he and his instruments--in his case, the rope, me, and the environment-- feel that night.  and to be fair, the rope and suspension parts were STILL done jazz style - no real thought or consideration on what sequence we were going to end up doing.  The idea came to us while driving home one late afternoon while listening to 50 Cent's "If I can't (No one can)."  I semi-jokingly made a statement about how this song was able M0co's ability to make specially customized rope for his clients and friends.  From there, this appalling performance was born.

I don't want to reveal too much of what happened, but here is a few shots, taken by FredRx:

Death of this Blog

I recently got an email from blogger.  Here's an excerpt:

In the coming weeks, we'll no longer allow blogs that contain sexually explicit or graphic nude images or video. We'll still allow nudity presented in artistic, educational, documentary, or scientific contexts, or where there are other substantial benefits to the public from not taking action on the content.

Well, then.

Since my blog falls under the categories of 'sexually explicit' and 'graphic nude images/videos', this seems like the end for me here.

If anyone has a tumblr, I'll be using that as my main blog from now on.  It's probably better since I'm slightly more active there (or at least can pretend to be by queuing random images.)

Follow my tumblr here!
Follow my tumblr here!
Follow my tumblr here!
Follow my tumblr here!

It's been a fun ride here on blogger/blogspot.  Sorry to see it end.

Lots of love,

Nagabot/Beemo/LittleNaga

Winterfire Chicken, 2015 Edition

I borrowed this format from FL's _Spiral_ and FL's PizzaDog:

Chickens are a thing.

This is a breakdown of Winterfire 2015 for me.  This year was especially interesting.

The Hard Stuff

• A lot of people acknowledged my partner, M0co, but not me, as an instructor at WF.  Occasionally I would get dismissed so that the "teacher" could show them how to do a tie.
• I had a pretty bad anxiety Friday night, the first night of play.  The anxiety was so bad, I had to leave for 30 minutes to be by myself.
• I didn't get to spend much time with a couple of my super close friends/partners. I had really planned on it because I haven't been super supportive the past few months and I wanted to show them I still do care.
• I didn't get to play with everyone I had hoped to play with- in some cases, I never even had the guts to ask.
• This was my first time at a play party bottoming to other people who aren't M0co, so I dealt with a few feelings of guilt, like I had cheated.
• I didn't eat well.  Not eating well makes me cranky.
• I didn't sleep well. Not sleeping well makes me ultra cranky.

The Good Stuff

• I had so many people congratulate me on my marriage and it felt so good to hear it and see people say it with a smile on their faces.
• I wore my wedding dress to the Kraken's Ball and the moment M0co saw me, he ran over, scooped me up, kissed me and told me I was beautiful.
• The play dates in which I bottomed were amazing.  The tops were wonderful and I would totally do it again.
• I had a play date in which there was no rope.  It was nice to not be seen as just 'that rope bottom'.
• I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from our classes.
• I did get to do my traditional date with my girlcrush :) and she was amazing.
• I had my sadistic mojo back when I played with a friend. It made me want to go back to topping more.
• When people asked to play and I said no, no one pressed it or questioned it. It was nice to feel respected.
• ALL THE TEA!

Work, Weddings, The Woodshed and other things that start with W

I am getting increasingly bad at updating my blog.  A lot of it had to do with vanilla world- I was working a job that had me in a lab almost 12 hours a day, 5 days a week.  On weekends, I'd spend it working at kink events and parties.  I didn't give myself much time to breathe, let alone blog.  It finally reached a breaking point and I knew I needed to make some changes.

I switched into a new department at work, one that is aimed towards R&D and validation of protocols instead of working with production.  The amount of stress that took off my shoulders has been incredible.  I'm working just as hard, with less hours and more pay.  In fact, I've learned more in the last 3 weeks of being in this new department than I have at the almost 2 years with the old department.  What's not to love?

I'm not sure if most people knew this, but I was married previous to joining the BDSM world- I had a vanilla husband when I met M0co.  It's funny because while most people try to hide their kink lives from the vanilla world, I was doing the exact opposite.  Our marriage wasn't one based on sexual attraction. and eventually, it came time for us to part.  Our divorced was finalized at the end of Jan 2015.  L, my now-ex-husband, and I are still friends and we're very happy for one another.

Since my divorce was finalized, it meant that I was free to marry M0co now.  He's been waiting patiently for over 2 years and when the divorce papers finally arrived, he was probably more ecstatic than I was.  He texted me all day, making plans.  It finally came down to two of the most important texts I'll ever receive in my life:

M0co: Let's get married this weekend :)
M0co: I don't want to waste any more of my life not calling you my wife

Who says romance is dead?

On Feb 7, 2015, M0co and I eloped in Las Vegas.  I had this huge amazingly detailed post planned, but, in the end, the post just didn't feel...right.  M0co and I never have made a big deal out of the major milestones in our life- no collaring ceremony, no huge announcements of our engagement.  It's fitting that we did a quicky marriage in a place known for its incredible amounts of sin.

Since we did such a tiny wedding, there were no real photos taken.  We did take a bunch of selfies and live tweeted a bit:

We did, however, celebrated M0co jute style:

Winterfire occurred this past weekend.  This is the first time in,,,pretty much ever, in which I decided to put out into the Universe that I would like to bottom to other people.  I was blessed to have friends respond and this year my Winterfire experience was incredibly different than any I've ever been to.  I'm still processing the event and hopefully will have a writing about it soon.

FIRE in Orlando is coming up- I've managed to stretch out our stay in Florida a bit longer so we can enjoy the weather and spend times with our friends down at The Woodshed.  Events tend to burn me out since we do a lot of teaching, I'm happy to be able to pace myself and recover in someplace warm and with good friends.  I plan on treating our extra few days in Orlando as a mini-honeymoon for M0co and myself.  I'm not so sure he pictures it that way, though :P

MBE 2014, the extravaganza that almost wasn't (but then was, so it was cool in the end)

To be fair, MBE was never NOT going to be a thing-- Morpheous' Bondage Extravaganza has been an ongoing yearly event that seems pretty unstoppable.

The 'almost wasn't' part was more about my attendance to said event.  The last few months for M0co and myself have been truly crazy- a lot of traveling, working mega overtime, and always, ALWAYS an almost negative bank account.  Money was really tough for us, and MBE almost wasn't in the books for us.  Well, at least not both of us.  Since rope is M0co's life, traveling to MBE was more of a business calling than pleasure, so it made sense that he should at least be able to go and represent.  Would have been mighty awkward if the official rope of MBE couldn't make it.

So, since I was under the impression I wasn't going to make it, I convinced a friend of mine to run a 5K with me that Saturday.  Admission was super cheap and I figured it would keep me occupied while M0co was away.  So I had a plan.  A non-MBE plan.

Fast forward, I ended up actually being able to go to Florida and finding last minute tickets that same Saturday.  So, like all normal insomniacs who hate to let people down, I decided to do it all.  Run the 5K, get on a plane, tie and get tied for 12 hours, fly back home and work on Monday.

Did I mention the 5K was a color run?  You know, the kind of 5K where they throw all the colorful corn starch at you?

So, I was slightly rainbow colored when I arrived to The Woodshed, but only slightly.

Anyways, I survived another MBE, but as a rigger!  I wish I had some photos of the ties I did and of the awesome bottoms I got to use, but I haven't received them yet. I did get quite a few shots of M0co tying me, which is just as nice :)

Photos by Coner

Look at how fancy M0co looks!  I'm one lucky little slave :)

'What are you? A Weekday Monogamist?'

As anyone who bothers to read my blog could tell you, I fight with myself a lot on the whole monogamy/polyamory thing.  I'm constantly flip flopping on whether I am poly or not.  A lot of my monogamy comes from society and my own insecurities ("If he can date ANYONE, he's going to leave me for someone better.")  Not to mention that my emotional development was heavily impeded by years of not getting therapy and drug use.

My confusion only got worse when M0co decided to become somewhat famous.  Not only is he handsome, funny, and a genuinely nice human being, he's now also got the hashtag #ropemakinggenuis attached to him.  Unfortunately, that does bring around about half a dozen girls every week that want to play with him. or more. 

Jealousy.  Loneliness. Abandonment.  Those are just some of the unlovely feelings and thoughts that ran through my underdeveloped, child-like brain. and maybe the worst feelings I had of all were guilt and sheer disappointment in myself. 

How was it okay for me to want to be with other people, possibly love them, but suddenly it wasn't okay for M0co to do so?  Why was I so convinced he'd find someone better and leave me?  Why wasn't he afraid I would do the same?

So, for a while, it was a rough ride.  I'd break up with M0co after every major rope event. I'd either be angry or sad, or both.  Smiling was increasingly difficult.  I started hating any person (not even just the women that M0co is attracted to) that would treat M0co like a king and push me off to the side.  It finally got to a breaking point before M0co did what any man does for someone he loves, he got me help.

After months of therapy, I sometimes even wonder if I'm making progress answering the question on whether I'm poly or not.  A friend of mine lovingly refers to me as a 'weekday monogamist' -someone who is probably monogamous during most of their week, but has relationships on the weekends.  It's not...untrue.

July Recap aka I'm lazy, so here's a short post and photo

The last few weeks have been crazy for M0co and myself.  We've been out of town almost every weekend, doing some rope related.  It's kind of wild how much my life has changed since joining the kink community.  I went from doing absolutely nothing on the weekends to traveling all over the US, sharing something I'm truly passionate about.

In the beginning of July, M0co and I headed out to Cincinnati to teach our first weekend long intensive.  I had a bit of anxiety- but because of teaching, but because M0co had....SHINGLES. He was incredibly sick, in tons of pain, and totally still able to teach.  He's an amazing man.  

The kind folks at Cinci were amazing- they were completely teachable (!), and so eager to learn.  I'm hoping they were able to get some useful info out of the intensive, whether it was an actual skill or just a concept.  Or maybe a renewed love of rope bondage.

M0co and I also got to spend some time up with Mataleao and WickedBlueGlow in NJ while we were teaching at The Floating World.  The event itself was pretty lackluster for me (I have the worst anxiety at cons sometimes), but I thoroughly enjoyed spending some quality time with great people.  ML and WBG are definitely stand up people and I couldn't explain what great hosts they were.  I did complain a lot (hey, it's in my nature), but Mataleao was totally cool with it, and rolled with the punches.  I really appreciated his off the cuff sense of humor and his biting wit.  Always a good time.

Instead of having a relaxing weekend, M0co decided to call up Robert Neroni (SiRoberto on FL) and set up a photoshoot.  We've worked with Robert in the past and the results were absolutely stunning.  He's one of the most talented photographers I've met and M0co had a very specific reason for wanting to use him.  For the past year, M0co has wanted to get a full back piece tattoo done and he decided that he wanted it to be an image of me tied up.  He toyed with a million different concepts and themes before he finally had the perfect vision.

In the end, M0co wanted to have a Japanese inspired/influenced tattoo, so he had me bring several kimono.  Robert helped with the aesthetics and ended up doing a very simple partial suspension.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but this was the result:

Ropework: M0co
Photographer: Robert Neroni
Rope: M0co Jute

Robert and M0co make beautiful collaborations, don't they?  It feels weird to say that about myself, but I do love this image.  I don't consider myself a model or even beautiful in that conventional ideal of beauty, but this photo is incredible to me.  I think between watching actual models that M0co shoots with and all of those episodes of America's Next Top Model, I was able to pull myself together well enough to get a great shot.

I can't wait to see how this translates into a tattoo.  M0co's first session is on Monday with tattoo artist Larry Hardesty of Black Lotus Tattoo.  Check out his work here.