What's in Store for 2013?

Happy New Years, readers :)

I can't believe it's already a new year, 2012 seemed so short.  I guess I'm one of those rare few who really enjoyed 2012:  I spent it with an amazing Daddy, friends, pups.  Plus, I graduated :D  My relationship with my family has been strengthening everyday- what was not to love?  I have some amazing expectations for 2013 now.

Daddy requested that I write a list of goals I would like to accomplish in 2013.  He doesn't believe in resolutions at the beginning of the new year, but he does believe in setting goals and how I plan on achieving them.

• Get healthy: I started prepping for Tough Mudder prior to the holidays, which was probably a mistake.  Holidays aren't meant for being healthy and now that the holidays are over, I feel gross.  I've already started cleaning up my diet and exercising again- I need to get back on track for Tough Mudder.
• Work on rope things: As a rope Top, I want to work on my muscle memory, fluidity, and creativity. I think I've come a long way from when I started, but I still have tons of work to do.  Also, I don't want to be that rope Top that is only good at one thing: elevator rides.  I want people think stop and think, "Oh, I really want her to play with me!" and not just "I want her to suspend me."  As a rope bottom, I want to increase my flexibility and work on pain processing.  My goal is to someday be as good a rope bottom as Clover or La Gorgone.
• Work on deep-throating:  Before I met Daddy, I assumed I was good at giving head, or that what I lacked in skill, I made up with enthusiasm.  This apparently isn't true whatsoever; I have no talent deep-throating and it's something I'd like to work on.  I want to be able to work through my gag reflex.  I don't necessarily want to lose it, but I would like to not freak out when it happens.
• Be more active in the community:   When I first joined the kinky community, I was everywhere.  I stuck in fingers in all the pies and tried to be as active as possible.  Now that life has kicked in (school, pups, work, relationships) I've really backed out of the community.  I would like to come back and help out as much as possible.  The community gave so much to me already and I would love to give back.

The Kraken's Lair is also throwing a monthly party.  I think the premise is that each month, we'll be bringing in one unique piece of equipment/device/furniture for everyone to try out.  This month, we're bringing in a fully customizable bondage floor.  You can literally bolt your bottom in any position you can imagine.  I'm not really sure where Sir Ron comes up with this stuff, but it's always amazing.  He recently stained the floors, so they look amazing right now.  Can't wait.

For now, I'll continue to enjoy my funemployment. ;)

Propsal

Since I don't have any classes to attend EVER AGAIN (Yes, I officially graduated Dec 21st!)  I figured now would be a good time to upload that ridiculous video of my engagement here for those who don't have a paid Fetlife account.  I actually hate this video because of my own derpiness, but everyone says it's sickeningly cute.  Enjoy!

30 Days of Kink, Take Two, Day 5.

I always start these things and forget about them. I swear, I’ll get around to answering all of these questions someday.

 Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to happen.

(triggers for non-consent) My first kinky sexual experience, eh? Oh man, looks like we’re going to have to dig through a lot of memories. Back when I was just a wee little baby naga bot, I used to date men that were much older than me. In retrospect, it was definitely not a good thing for either of us; I wasn’t emotionally mature and he was…obviously an adult who didn’t have qualms about banging a 16 year old. But that’s not the point of this. I spent most of my time in his bunker (he was in the military) and we would spend most his days off fucking, sleeping and occasionally eating. He was always a rough lover, but that worked out to his benefit - I wasn’t one for gentle sex. At this point in my life, I knew that I was kinky, but had assumed that most people weren’t and I would have to settle with slightly rough-ish vanilla sex. He definitely proved me wrong. I was in his bathroom, naked, brushing my teeth, when he barged in and threw me in the shower. I was so surprised that I didn’t put up a fight when he pushed down his boxers and peed on me. He laughed and went back to bed, while I just sat, urine soaked in his bathtub, tears beginning to form in my eyes. And before you say it, I didn't LET him pee on me, he forced me. I'm a small girl and, at the time, I was probably only about 110 lbs. Even if I had tried to fight back, I was much too small to do anything. I had a multitude of emotions run through me: anger, embarrassment, sadness but what hit me the hardest was excitement. In the end, I wasn't as angry or upset with him for peeing on me, but rather that he did it without consent. Consent became a huge concept for me and I realize that I didn’t want just anyone to use me, I wanted it to be with someone I could trust and that truly cared about me. We both knew that our relationship wouldn’t last because of the age difference, but the lack of consent really pushed it for me and I stopped seeing him promptly afterward. I’m not sure I ever really explained it to him since I was just a kid with poor communication skills. As far as I know, he probably just thinks I freaked out because he peed on me, which is only a half truth.

The Kraken's Lair

Last night, Daddy and Sir Ron threw a small, private play party in lieu of the whole DCD fiasco.  Sir Ron, in some kind of manic episode, cranked out several really innovative devices for play and since DCD is no longer a thing, we didn't have to haul everything from one location to another; instead, Daddy and Ron had to figure out how to arrange everything inside Sir Ron's beautiful row home.

The night went wonderfully.  I think I enjoy smaller crowds of more intimate friends much more than crazy big play parties that the local community seems to treasure so much.  The only thing I do regret is not being able to watch girlcrush get her head straight-razored.  

Speaking of girlcrush, I have a date with her on Monday! A legit date.  and I don't have anything to wear ;/

Anyways, back to last night...

Long story short, here's a picture of a bruise above my nipple.  I'm not sure who did it or what was done to get it there, but I like it.

Diets. Lifestyles, Dungeons

Earlier this week, I had written a fairly long, slightly angry, wholly depressing blog about being jealous of a girl I had met last year and how that had manifested into this big crazy thing in which I ended up hating myself, getting depressed and getting "fat".  I put fat in quotes because I know I am far from what the actual idea of overweight looks like...well, to most Americans.  Maybe not by Daddy's standards.  I have gained something like 5 lbs in the last few months.  I know that 5 lbs doesn't seem like much, but when you aren't very big to begin with, it's really noticeable.  Rather than subject you to the whining (plus, I'm not sure if said girl follows my blog, but it could be potentially awkward if she were to read it and understand the love-hate-love-hate I feel for her, someone I barely know) I started to overhaul my diet and exercise routines.  No more grains, no more sugars, no more fun at all.  Basically, my drug-free, (mostly) alcohol-free existence is now also carb-free.

It's going on to Day 3 of lifestyle change and my entire body aches.  I have ran a total of 6 miles so far, adding another 3 today.  I've also done more than 2 hours of yoga and rock climbing.  I'm pretty sure my hair hurts, that's how out of shape I am.

I had forgotten how much I hate salads and a brief talk with Issa and Moco mentioning how much they wanted Taco Bell made me momentarily hate them.  Don't they know fun foods are the enemy?  I've been living off fruits, vegetables and nuts/seeds.  I feel like some kind of rodent.  Especially because I'm on a treadmill for 30 minutes a day, running in place, Dieselboy blaring in my ears while I stare, gaping like a stunned trout, at a silenced TV.

I'll probably update the whole healthy lifestyle thing periodically.  and I probably should include pictures! but it's 7:30 am and not in the mood to get out of bed.  I'll start doing the picture thing sometime this afternoon. 

All I want for Christmas is an inquisition...image from the internet somewhere

This Friday was supposed to be Daddy's Party and DC Dungeon.  Lovingly named "Pipechairs and Pears" for device bondage and the Pear of Anguish, this was to be one of the more intense parties in the area. Hard bondage, hard torture, similar to a set of Insex.  Sir Ron even built a wild amount of furniture and devices for play.  It was going to be amazing.  But no, it's not going to happen.

DCDungeon made the grand announcement that it's moving locations!  It's gotten so big and popular that it needs a new space.  Can't wait, it's going to be great!  But where is this new space?  IT DOESN'T EXIST YET.  In order to operate a (legal) play space, a fuck ton of paperwork and permits are needed (ask Uncle Frazier, the owner of The Crucible.)  So, how can we throw a party in a dungeon that no longer exists? Oh right, we can't. Mega-burn ;/ We (as in Sir Ron) dropped a lot of money into making new furniture and devices and now we have to way to find a new location.  The worst part about all of this is people are going to associate the party cancellation with us and not the play space due to how they made their announcement. Thanksssssssssss. DCD.

Positive Messages in the Bathroom

A few weeks ago, one of the women's bathrooms at my university covered the mirror with little pick me up notes.  I had taken a couple of snapshots of them because I thought they were cute and then promptly forgot about them.

Recap because...wtf, where are all the updates?

I guess the biggest update is that...I got engaged! It happened fairly recently, about 2 weeks ago, and a part of me is still not quite sure what happened.  The video to said engagement is posted on my fetlife page (which means, dear viewer, that, yes, it was kind of kinky.)  If I weren't so lazy, I'd upload it here as well, but...I'm mighty lazy.  and also, I really hate the way my voice sounds recorded.

Other than that, the major news is that I was flogged for the first time.  I know that probably seems like a silly sentence; how could someone who seems to be so deep into the BDSM community not have tried flogging before?

Ok, slight edit: It's not that I haven't been flogged before.  In my early baby days of crawling through the plethora of BDSM goodies, I had been flogged a couple of times rather poorly by an unskilled Domly-Doms.  My lack of know-how in negotiating--and trust me when I say almost no one knows how to negotiate when they first start playing publicly-- and research had landed me into thinking that flogging was really...not that interesting.  Wasn't quite stingy.  Wasn't quite thuddy.  Why couldn't it make up its mind?  and the actions done by said Domly-Doms were anything but sexy.  I quietly crammed the notion of being flogged into a small tiny ball and shoved it into the darkest parts of my brain, quickly forgetting about it while I fell in love with being single-tailed and caned.  and those notions pretty much stayed dormant until Fetfest.

That's when we watched Prophet pull out his beautiful handcrafted floggers and show off.

You're probably asking yourself who Prophet is because I haven't ever mentioned him before.  Before I go on, I have to admit, I nicknamed him Chocolate Thunder one day because I couldn't remember his name and felt that it would be the most accurate way to describe him.  He's adopted it and now pretty much everyone in our chosen family has started calling him C. Thundah.  Now...how to describe him...let's just say he follows the Brad Pitt Fight Club exercise regime and he follows it well.

Before we started, we did the typical negotiations:

"Hard limits?"
"No sexual stuff.  Don't break my bones.  Don't send me to the hospital."
"Sure, no problem.  Anything else?
"Oh, yeah, I don't like pain."

He gave me a funny look when I said that; I guessed he had never flogged someone who didn't see themselves as a bonefide pain slut and perhaps he wasn't sure what to do.  He finally decided to start off slow and work our way up until I tapped out.

It didn't seem to have lasted long, but I went through my typical cycle of reactions when dealing with pain: a lot of laughter, tears, rinse repeat.  I'm not sure if that scared Prophet or his partner, who was sitting with Daddy.  She looked quite concerned and I could hear her ask, "Is she alright?  She's laughing...and crying."  Daddy shrugged and said that I knew what to say if I wanted to stop.

It was surprisingly painful.  As I stood there taking the beating, it occurred to me that I not only had never been flogged by anyone remotely close to skilled, but that Prophet was extremely extremely amazing with his craft.  Prophet was able to switch between thuds and stings with little to no effort.  By the end of it, he was winding up and swinging at me the way a baseball player would.  Or at least that's what I'm told.

Later that night, Daddy told me that Prophet was fairly impressed, "For someone who doesn't like pain, she can take quite a flogging."